bother! oh bravo also I'm eager to read the rest.

its rather good! whats the time frame?

you are missing so ceremonial lingo you abrieviate word when they need to belong and proper... it legend writting basics... I guess.

the devil come for you was a bit much... might want to use a demon instead.

any way kudos

:O banned you from your own laptop? Ah, I was wondering why no new chapters of your stories had been posted. I think this chapter's fine- plot-wise, it was interesting, and I like how the girl and the young man still aren't named. Maybe it's just stylistically that there's a problem. It's a little hard to explain, but seemed just a bit stilted in some places. But honestly, I wouldn't really have thought of it until after I read you were unsatisfied with it. Still, I reckon you've been doing really well with both your stories (and have certainly enjoyed reading both of them), and there's nothing much I can find fault with in either of them.

Well, I liked it :D I thought it was sweet and cute. But I noticed that you used the word "young" to describe the boys a lot. But there's nothing wrong with that. I do that too. Well, I can't wait for the next chapter! Update soon! D

No, the dilouge about the devil and whatnot was fine. i think it fit in with the contex, and since they were speaking in old english, in an old time, I thought it fit well. Anyways, I'm interested in seeing what's gong to happen next! Update soon!

ooh, now it's getting really interesting! No, I don't think the line about the devil was too much- it sounded natural in context, and ws actually quite handy for setting the scene and whatnot. Looking forward to seeing what happens when he brings friends along!

Excellent! I'm always glad to read something a little different (which this one certainly is, in a good way). Only problem is, now I'm not sure whether I like this one or your first better :)

How did I find it? Well, I was looking at the just-in stories, and I saw a new one written by you. And so, I read it, and here I am now.

Anyways, ins't that kind of a bad thing if you're getting confused when you write your stories? Hehe, oh well, I get confused with my own stories sometimes too ;) Well, there were typos, nothing major. I feel bad for that girl. Having to be all alone with nothing but darkness around her. I am glad that boy shared some snack with her :D Well, I'm looking foward to seeing more!

I liked that last bit in your authors note about the mystery. It's ture; even my own stories are mysteries to me. Anyways, I thought it was interesting. I'd like to see more sometimes soon :D