|Reviews for Now You Say|
| DanceLikeNo-oneIsWatching chapter 1 . 11/29/2008
I really liked the line "the smile I saw once.
once in an old photograph, you smiled like the world was new."
It's very creative, but it has the touch of "self" that everyone can find, you know? That seems ambiguous, but what I mean is that all of us know about that picture, the one with the perfect smile that you'll never find again. What I really didn't like about it was how similar it is to so many poems out there. If you just go to any random author, you will almost undoubtedly find a poem about "oh, don't leave me but you are hurting me. Leave or don’t leave? can't decide." ... It gets old. Fast. SUPER fast. There are so many other things to write about, so many wonders in this world that you could find. The smile of a child? A tiny green grasshopper? Black holes? Dieing soldiers? So many things to write about, yet you choose to write about one that has been covered so many times? Keep it fresh! Keep it new! What wondrous things you could find that have not already been beaten to death!
| Naked Geese Reunion chapter 1 . 11/27/2008
Absolutely brilliant piece; you're a master of prose, that's quite clear. This poem's narrator seems to lay everything bare to get their message conveyed fully to the intended recipient. It's a lover's final desperate attempt, I feel, to make absolutely certain — if only to bring to the surface more pain — that the other either loves or is entirely done with the writer. I quite like the breaks from the flow that the parenthetical bits offer; they add a bit of depth, I feel. That last line hit far too close to home. Altogether a marvelous piece of writing; cheers.