Reviews for His Majesty's Kingdom
Narq chapter 17 . 4/4/2009
You did this wonderfully! I daressay this is one of your best chapters yet! I simply loved the description woven with emotions and the way you did it - astounding!

My favourite quote from here is: "...an image of a laughing child that made her heart swell now, the sight of a stoic creature that she had never seen in her life then. Tears began to well up in her eyes, burning and heavy, as she tried to figure out where things had gone inexplicably wrong. Was it the love, the love that she still harbored, for the man that had taken advantage of her daughter?..."

Great work!

Narq.
kfjkaskm chapter 17 . 4/4/2009
Perfect chapter! For a second I thought Robin was going to reject Derek, because if he would have I would have sent a leprauchan to beat the crap out of him with a quizno sub. Can't wait for the next chapter and don't take so long. It kills me everytime I have to wait!
Freaky Fred chapter 8 . 2/25/2009
Ooh, so he only USED to hate Robyn?

Is this before or after the first chapter? I want to say after.

Haha, I like Ariel. When she said "empathetically", I totally expected her to use the wrong word or something.

Hmm. Nothing else to say, really. Oh, except for good chapter. And I didn't find any spelling/grammar mistakes. Yay!

Onto the next one!
Freaky Fred chapter 7 . 2/24/2009
Grr! Fictionpress was down for so long! I had to save this onto my computer. Sorry I had to group all the reviews together.

In whole, I reallyreally like this story. Like, a lot. :D

Chapter 4:

Annabel Lee is my favorite poem ever! (:

And I suppose him taking acid is better than whatever that blue pill was, since it has no adverse effects on the body/chance of addiction?

I can't remember anything else I said for that last chapter...

Chapter 5:

I have no idea about PB, but LSD doesn't do anything bad to the body. It's just the stupid stuff you do while on it.

Aww. Derek. So sad; I feel really sorry for him.

Ah. All this subtraction is making my head hurt.

So, Derek is in the middle of the winter in Michigan, outside, without a coat.

Sounds like something my brother would do.

Ah! Greg! Maybe I'll find out who he is now...

Chapter 6:

Aww, poor Momo! And Derek! Does their mom know about Greg? I couldn't imagine that she'd stay with him if she knew what he did.

Hehe, Lions.

Oh, dang. Derek's crazy.

"You know," Wolf said, holding his head up regally. "They say you shouldn't laugh when a hearse goes by." Derek glared at him. "If you do, you'll end up with an even worse fate. Be glad for your father and mother. They're good people."

HAH. That reminds me of a story in those books...you know, the “Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark” ones? I think there was a song or something in one of them, with a line like that.

Chapter 7:

A psychiatrist? Really, Kim? Like Derek needs more pills!
Freaky Fred chapter 3 . 2/22/2009
Well, fictionpress was being mean and not letting me log in/review, so I have to bunch these reviews together. :

Chapter 2:

Aw. That's so sad, what's happening to Momo. The reactions from the family are all very realistic. Derek getting angry at the doctor, Michael...getting mad, and Kim crying. Haha, if that happened to me, I'd probably take the Kim-rout. Except, more tears. :'D

Chapter 3:

Hmm. How old is Momo? I thought she was Derek's younger sister, but I don't know anymore. Though,I'll probably figure it out soon enough if I just keep reading. And tsk, tsk, Derek. Taking unmarked pills.
Narq chapter 15 . 2/9/2009
aww I love cats.. so cute! I wonder what happens next. (you can actually detmine a cat's gender by looking...)
overt one chapter 14 . 2/2/2009
More! :O
overt one chapter 10 . 2/2/2009
I hate Wolf/Iris/Whatever-his-name-is! Urgh, if Wolf/Iris claims to be helping Derek, why does he inflict all that pain to Derek?
overt one chapter 9 . 2/2/2009
Wait, here's something I don't get: Derek said nothing as he turned back to his food, wishing it wasn't so cold. Is he wishing the food wasn't so cold or the room wasn't so cold?
overt one chapter 4 . 2/2/2009
Derek, you are officially #1 on my 'Top Five Stupid Morons and Idiots' list. Are you like the stupidest person on Earth? Man, you deserve to die.
overt one chapter 3 . 2/2/2009
Is Derek like, stupid or something? What in his right mind made him eat those pills?
kfjkaskm chapter 14 . 1/29/2009
Wow, great chapter, at least Robyn and him are some-what friends. You know when Derek said, "You can do what you like, but I'm not going to let you hurt me anymore. Not you or anyone else!". If I was the teacher in the conference, I would think he's being abused. In some way it sounds like that. LOL, Derek has enough problem. I'm confused, was Kim or Momo dating Grer. And how come the drug are in Momo's room? Because I thought Greg was dating Momo.
Howling Cat chapter 14 . 1/28/2009
This story makes me smile, like so:

:D

Keep writing!
Narq chapter 14 . 1/28/2009
Hell yea i enjoyed it, it was really really good!

Narq.
Tawny Owl chapter 1 . 1/26/2009
I get easily distracted. Promise I will finish reading Ebay when my curiosity is satisfied.

Liked the opening line, introduced us to Derek quickly and dropped us straight in to the story. Can't get enough of lines like that.

You might want to reconsider the line 'made easy friends'. Do you mean made friends easily?

I liked the fight, but it seemed like a very big cupboard what with all the punches being thrown. Robyn and Derek seem like a good contrast as well. Derek is really uptight and Robyn more relaxed, despite being knocked about.

Looking forward to seeing where this goes.
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