Reviews for Real Knight
Titi chapter 1 . 10/20/2010
Great story! Some feedback:

This part bothers me: "'Fraid not. You know he is a very impatient man, and I believe it's a matter of importance too." This dude is all like sophisticated and whatnot, and then BAM! he says "'fraid."

Also, the chracters tend to use a lot of "slang"-ish types of things. "'kay", "c'mon", "yeah", etc. I don't know if this takes place now or in the past, but...

It could use that great descriptiveness of yours that was in that Shades of Gray excerpt on AV!

Talk more about the parting ceremony.

""Hello, and welcome Champions!" boomed King Lamberd to the assembled semi and non-semi royals standing before him. "Yes, welcome to the humble kingdom of Kingdom. As you all know, my lovely daughter, the fair princess Kye, has been captured by…" He paused for dramatic effect. "The dreaded dragon, Edgard."

Ripples of disbelief in the crowd. Lamberd continued." This part made me laugh.

Um, the little part where Kye is all like, "IT'S A TRAP!" is sorta...abrupt.

I am very much enjoying the immaturity of the king.

Eh, the marriage thing is kinda abrupt, too...

For something you had to write for ENGLISH CLASS (and believe me, for english stuff, it's nearly IMPOSSIBLE to write the way you want to...), it's really great!
Lonely God chapter 1 . 1/17/2010
Looks really good plan to read it:).

Bill-Ist-Mein chapter 1 . 12/3/2008
What class was this for? English, obviously, but what were you learning in english?

It has made me curious, and now I want to know, but other than that, I really enjoyed reading through it. I just wish that it could've been longer.

Or...that I could read slower.