Reviews for Witch
FamishedNight chapter 1 . 10/6/2012
ArishaSmile chapter 17 . 11/21/2011
I loved it. It took up all my thoughts all day today. So I went ahead and got up in the AMs to finish it. Can't wait till I read the next part _
Azurerose chapter 17 . 3/26/2010
Your story is lovely. I'm amazed that you don't have more reviews. I have read Witch and Ambassador twice because I think it is an excellent fantasy/romance. I loved the changes in time so that we understand the history of how Arkin and Sela grew up. They both have their own personalities and faults which makes them much more interesting. I like you emphasized the contrast the morals of Sela from the rest of the court. Additionally, I love the worlds you created. I think it takes lots of creativity and hard work to develop different worlds. Great Job!

I can see how you grew as a writer in Ambassador because the plot got more complex. I always wondered why Sela could spend so much time with Arkin. Interesting, how many people were players in the story although we didn't always see them.
Ijo chapter 10 . 12/28/2009
I really like how you portray Court in this story. It seems much more real than in many stories that I have read. They have etiquette and act like couriers should. It seems authentic. The fan signals are creative, too.
Ijo chapter 6 . 12/28/2009
This is definitely a favorite. I have so far enjoyed the story. It's different from what I assumed would be a cliched plot. The story itself is great, but there are a few things you need to work on. The story is rushed in places. You don't allow the leader immerse themselves in something. Sela frees those prisoners very quickly, too quickly. You mention a few problems that arose during that time but only in passing. It was like you added their complaints and disagreements just because you felt you had to. It didn't seem very real, as a reader I didn't become absorbed in the situation. Also, you don't really describe the magic. I can't picture how it works-I have an idea but nothing definite. The first chapter was a bit confusing with lots of hints and allusions but nothing definite. Although, the following chapters cleared many things up. I know that his is 'COMPLETE' but I would suggest an edit or a re-write where you take the time to really show what happens. Add a bit of detail and so forth. The escape of the prisoners was so fast and easy I just didn't find myself believing it. Otherwise so far it's a great story. I hope you continue writing. I'll review on a later chapter.
i-wish-i-had-wings chapter 17 . 9/20/2009
amazing story! i don't really know what to think about arkin, other than that he is a real asshole. sela is just so cool, rescuing those prisoners..i would have wished that she didn't end up back with him again.
aureliasilver chapter 16 . 6/24/2009
I found myself clicking on the next button even when I reached the last chapter...and I was like...NO. It cant end here...
Harmonic Discord chapter 1 . 5/29/2009
I really liked your beginning. You set up the world you've created well, the rules of the monarchy and the prince's control. Your main character is believable. The fan gestures are a wonderful touch - really original! Your narrator has a good tone; I like that she's stubborn but not stupidly so. She knows her place and how not to cross boundaries, but she knows what she wants. Good job.

I could have used more description in the beginning I think, in regards to setting (I was a little confused about their location at first). If you wanted, you could add more initial exposition to explain background - it's not necessary though, since I got the general gist as I was reading. I also felt that the narrator's annoyance could have come through a bit more about the weeping girl in the very beginning, not necessarily through dialogue but through the stiffness of her actions, etc. The fan gestures are good - maybe extend those a little, white knuckles or something?

Overall, great beginning - looking forward to reading more!
sugaplumprincess chapter 17 . 5/22/2009
I really liked this story, even though I also think it’s a great example of why absolute monarchies are a bad idea. Arkin is and was such a brat! I’m surprised he paid enough attention to the outside world to let someone go and fix the roads. Sela was essentially the only person he was nice to and so I could see why she fell in love with him, I was also proud of her for standing up to him when he was a jerk. I also really liked your description of magic, how it’s like a tapestry and spells are woven, that was great imagery!

One thing that bothered me though, we never really found out what the political prisoners at the beginning had done. Sela said she identified with them, so I think it’s implied that they refused to serve the crown, but I wish that part had been a bit clearer.
A.Woody chapter 17 . 4/9/2009
hey i really like your story but there is one thing i'm a little confused about, and that is what excactly did the prisoners that Sela set free do?
Sabreal chapter 2 . 2/13/2009
ah! I'm falling in love with this story! When I was first reading this, i was like okay...a flashback to when she first met arkin but then the vivid description and the single possessive whisper arkin says after demanding her to sleep by him sent shivers down my spine. Love it! Love it! Love it!
Sabreal chapter 1 . 2/13/2009
this first chapter was positively entrancing. I really enjoyed that! I hope I continue to do so as I progress with this remarkable story if yours...
swishfish chapter 1 . 1/18/2009
I loved the story! Can't wait for the next chapter in the sequel!
Narc chapter 9 . 1/18/2009
More reviewing for the review game! There's a link to it in my profile.

I've been wondering how everyone back at the palace had reacted to what she did, so I'm glad this scene was in here. Avigdor was a good choice of characters to relay that information. I have to wonder, though, that since Arkin practically dared her to do it what he'll do. If the army really was going to come arrest her, wouldn't he object?

I didn't even realize that she assumed the people -didn't- know who she was. I always assumed they did know, so that reveal wasn't particularly effective.

It was a little weird how she suddenly thought of the fact that Eri might want to marry her. It seemed like the sort of thing she would have thought of earlier.
Narc chapter 8 . 1/18/2009
Good chapter. I like how the two storylines are beginning to converge, as her past storyline is going much quicker than the present. It's fun to find out explanations about the little things. The relationship between her and Arkin, the necklance she wears, etc. You've done a really good job showing their relationship develop into what it is in the present story. I'm hoping to see where she gets her more political view from.

The ball scene was a little too long, I felt. There just seemed to be too many young men that all acted pretty much the same and blended together. Ramone, Elliot, Lars ... there's just not a lot to differentiate them and the subsequent dances didn't seem to add any much more to the plot or character development.
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