|Reviews for Shift|
| B. Chuck chapter 1 . 4/18/2013
Wow, you are an extremely skilled writer. I would say keep on writing but you have 188 chapters, so I think you probably will. )
| Senshi Sun chapter 1 . 4/7/2013
This story seems promising. The plot is entertaining, and the characters are distinct. It's shaping up to be a long, epic adventure.
I know this chapter is four years old. I acknowledge that much of what I say may have already improved. 185 chapters is plenty of time to improve one's writing skills, especially when those chapters average 2,990 words each.
I'll admit, I did not read the Author's Note at the beginning of this chapter. I got to the part about you rewriting the story so it had a hook and just skimmed the rest. There didn't appear to be any information that I could use. I outright shunned the summary underneath the Author's Note because it said "spoilers". I'll get to that in more detail after I read the chapter.
Stylistically, the sentences are too long. The only ones that sound natural are the ones in dialogue. Using commas would have helped to make your sentences easier to read. I could ramble on about "reading your chapters out loud; I could take up 500 words on how to cut your sentences down. I'm not going to bother. It's been four years, you've improved.
This chapter does not feel like a chapter 0. It feels like a chapter 1. Regardless, it does a good job of introducing the main characters and setting up the story. The fight scenes were interesting, Yuki was so strange I couldn't turn away, and even the average people seemed like fun.
I was confused about Daydreamer Yuki. He seemed crazy until the end. The glowing eyes confused me too.
It seems the "spoilers" summary was just about things that happened in chapter one. I hope you understand now that the summary doesn't really even need to be there. It could be shortened and moved up to the story summary without too much trouble.
Overall, the story was entertaining, but extra scenes and long sentences made it seem to drag. It's been four years, so I understand you have improved. You must be an amazing writer by now. I think I'll read a more recent story, if there's one available. Good luck with chapter 186 and I'll see you again soon!
| Revamp chapter 54 . 4/6/2013
This chapter was nice. The inner turmoil with Yuki combined with the worry of Momoko, as if her instincts picked up on his dysfunction.
What started off as humorous left off in sorrow.
| Revamp chapter 53 . 4/6/2013
It's nice to see emotion from Ayumi in this chapter. Tensions are at a high with Yuki, and I really like all of the characterization going on. I also wonder what's up with the old man. I beginning to think there is a reason I liked him. He's turning into an intetesting mystery.
| Revamp chapter 52 . 4/6/2013
I really like the old man's character but I feel sorry for poor Yuki. His inner turmoil has consumed him, and I feel this chapter speaks to me more on an emotional and symbolic than a literal way. Something tells me Yuki isn't dead quite yet. Then again I could just be being hopeful.
| Revamp chapter 51 . 4/6/2013
There was major cathrisis in Yuki this chapter. I wondee what that will mean for chapters ahead. I am interested to see where this goes and how he'll handle his training from now on.
| Revamp chapter 50 . 4/6/2013
Nice twist with Phoibe. I actually wasn't expecting that at all. I also liked the touching moment with Yuki and his mother, as well as Saki's reactions and in depth characterization. The exile information showed a new depth to Yuki's people as well.
| Revamp chapter 49 . 4/4/2013
This chapter was very comedic and I liked the commentary by Kaede about Yuki. I loved the outlook on Yumi's character as well.
Something tells me the next chapter will be especially interesting.
| Revamp chapter 48 . 4/4/2013
I love chaters like this, to be honest and I had a feeling that there was something up with that shop since I read the part about the animal remains. The fact that the siaters have such a large age gap is also a key alert.
As for my favorite characters my top six are*
Although there are many intetesting ones, those stick out above the rest.
| Revamp chapter 47 . 4/4/2013
Many things are running through my mind about that shop. I enjoyed this chapter. It was fun and full of interesting interactions and implications of yukisaki. It was nice to see Ayumi back into the picture as well.
| Revamp chapter 46 . 4/4/2013
So I am guessing that Tamotsu killed her grandfather and is plotting to kill her as well. can figure out what's going on before it transpires.
I feel bad for Saki bit I loved that powerful moment between the girls.
| Revamp chapter 45 . 4/1/2013
Haruo seems very interesting. Someone who is silent but deadly is what he
comes off across. Like a stoic character of sorts.
I really like the intensity of the fight with Chiharu and the assassins. It's a nice action
scene. It's nice how she lives by the shinobi code and acknowledges herself as a weapon as
well. Despite being beaten down, she retains that mindset and fights the building anger inside of
internal conflict between human emotion and ridding herself of it was interesting character
development. The struggle between man and machine has always been insightful to any character who
explored it. Chiharu's burdens were piled too high, and she eventually was brought to her knees by
all of them.
It was nice to see some emotion out of her after all of that time, she broke the boundaries and became human.
| Revamp chapter 44 . 4/1/2013
Tamotsu and Chiharu's reactions to her grandfather's death seemed off to me
as well, which only enables my thinking that this family is super strange for some
reason. I have several questions in my head which were quickly answered by Chiharu's explanation
of them being descendents of ninja. However, I still am wondering about
the reasons of her grandfather's death. Ninja or not that's suspicious. I wonder
if the assassins Yuki has been fighting are somehow behind this, or is it an old
rivalry of some sort of Chiharu's clan?
Nice action and a wonderful chase scene towards the end. I liked Yuki and Saki's involvement, and
I wonder who the mysterious person is who jumped out at Chiharu at the end. I'll read on to find out
| Revamp chapter 43 . 4/1/2013
I sort of thought Chiharu's grandfather was some sort of rich old man.
Turns out I was right,but it seems like something else is up.
These recent chapters have been giving me YukiSaki feels...and I enjoy that.
Chiharu's training is the reason I thought she was sort of one-dimensional at first.
It's nice to see some backstory to her, her burdens, strengths and her clan. I enjoyed the
bath talk with Saki. It was a nice opportunity to see the girl's bond as reader can also get a
Perception of how warped her thinking is on the way of emotions as well.
I have to agree with Saki. I wonder what's up with Chiharu's family. There's something unsettling
about them. It also makes me a little sad that Masahiko ended up dead. I thought he was an interesting
| Revamp chapter 42 . 4/1/2013
Chiharu is quite amusing. I found myself chuckling at bit at the fight that she
had with Saki in the earlier part of the chapter. I knew that two girls with
such headstrong attitudes were going to come to a head sometime.
Along with Chiharu's abduction, the chapter takes a dark turn and interesting things are
introduced. It also makes me wonder what Chiharu's character delivers to the storyline
as far as importance goes. Something tells me that she'll end up having some sort of bigger role later on.
Yuki's dense nature and excitment about the possibility of being captured by yakuza was a little
amusing, although it makes me wonder about his knowledge of yakuza, considering he should have
been worried about that, given the assassins of his past follies.
Yuki and Saki's fight over shojo was pretty interesting as well, even if it was interrupted by someone
coming into the room.
I also liked the twist at the end with Chiharu's character. It seems she's gaining more depth.