Reviews for Tempt
Nicki BluIs chapter 1 . 2/7/2010
I really like the twistedness of this piece. Yes, i know that's not a word but that is really the best way to describe it. It's not completely scary or creepy but it has jsut enough of weird factor to leave a bad taste in your mouth - and I mean that in the best way possible lol.

The male character was a bit stuck up for my tastes but it fit with the tone of the piece. Though trite (aliens/non-humans/whatevers grumble about the stupid humans al the time) his character was properly subverted by Rosie's character who was completly unexpected.

as for the plot, I'm not sure it was that different. The "Disease" aspect was non-essential I found. At it's base the one-shot was about a know it all guy who meet some girl who challenges his conception of ppl/the world. He didn't HAVE to be a member of the Family sent to spread some psycho crazy disease - that just added a lil extra kick i guess.

The writing in general is exactly what i've come to expect from your work: first person narration with a bit of an edge. It seems to work well enough for you so keep at it.

J.Szewczuk chapter 1 . 4/23/2009
Opening: I really liked the opening of this story. I thought to myself, “How can his parents not know that they are not his parents?” It made me want to continue reading.

Characters: This is going to sound strange, but you described the characters so well while not describing them at all. Where exactly does the narrator come from? What exactly is he? A demon? An alien? Is his home another planet? Is it Hell?

Writing: The story is beautifully written. It flows at a decent pace and the two main characters are well described.

Plot: The plot was definitely original. I believe that I have not read another story quite like this one. It is very creative and unique, much like all of your writings.

In fact, I know you said that it is a one shot, but I would really enjoy reading some more about Rosie and Alvin.
Star the Foxhound chapter 1 . 3/10/2009
The beginning was very well done as it drags the reader in right fromt he first line. Right away the reader is left thinking why is the boys mother and father not really his mother and father. I also like how this question is answered not much later.

I also think that the part about the diease is very interesting because it is different from anything you would imagine ever coming across and that fact that Alvin tells the story makes it even more interested as you can see right into his head. I like your writing style and I think that you write well in first person, especcially where this story is concerned. Great Job!
A.S. Leer chapter 1 . 2/13/2009
See, much like The Wolf in Me, this is one of those stories that I had read before, and loved, but lacked the words to review. ...Two sentences per topic. *prays*

Enjoyment- Like I said a moment ago, I loved it. I think every aspect was perfectly done (or at least as near perfect as is humanly possible) and really, from what I've read, you're a great author.

Writing/Style- I liked this quite a lot. If you got any better, I would die.

Okay, I give. *sob* Please let me off the hook. Your characters are amazing- for some odd reason I want to date this guy...person...thing...And I want to be best friends with Rosie, and I want to just...I want to have a continuation and it makes me depressed, lonely, and dejected that there isn't one.

Arianna S.

I hope to god you'll accept this, because I've done my best...
Thoth Tarot chapter 1 . 12/29/2008
stalker and the family home!

bringmayflowers chapter 1 . 12/13/2008
Hey. You reviewed my story Silver Hands and now I'm reviewing yours in return. I have to say I really enjoyed the opening. It definitely caught my eye. Your descriptions were good and I enjoyed the main character a lot. I felt I was connecting to him. Your story has a very creepy feel to it, which I liked as well. The only thing is...I hope you continue. I am truly curious as to what this disease is and what it is going to have in the effect of the story. Keep up the great work!

~ Bring May Flowers
UndeadWithoutCoffee chapter 1 . 12/11/2008
- Opening/Ending I found the opening really awsome,because of the vivid descriptions of the son looking like his "parents" but not really being their son, since he killed a newborn to take its place. That really caught my interrest to read further, along with the great style you are using.

Characters I liked how the characters are so deep and decribed well. I am however not sure "what" or "who" they are. I cam to the conclusion they were something like devils? But you remain so unclear here. Still I found especially the thoughts of the girl and how the boy reacted to them great.

- Plot: This is two-sided I think. It was great because the characters acted so greatly in it and it seemed all the same to be so normal but on the other hand so creepy. What I found a bit disturbing was this desease that followed throughout the story and I am not sure what I should be thinking of it. What was great was your descriptions about the nature of thoughts! it is just like I really imagined thoughts to be and you really catched that.

- Pace: I think the pace was actually a bit to fast or rather where you had described something it was good but there are some comments. Maybe though I had the feeling that there could be more to it. I had the feeling that I sort of missed parts that were left out, like the boys childhood and what happenes between he dies and comes back, those parts have a pace that is to fast.

In conclusion I can say that I enjoyed your story, you did a good job here except some minor things with pace I mentioned above.
Sercus Kaynine chapter 1 . 12/9/2008
I absolutely love your writing style! It's freakishly sophisticated but clever at the same time.

For some reason I find this story utterly terrifying, but addictingly readable at the same time. I dunno. Go figure.

One thing that kind of put me off was that the entire story was written post everything that happened. I'd like to get right into the ACTION first, and have all of this be explained later. That said, it was still very likable as is. Thing is, I'm still not sure what the plot is about and I should after that many words.

Very interesting story so far. Nice work.