Reviews for Unseen
MiidKniight chapter 14 . 7/18/2010
The scene with Oleander and Elijah seems a little awkward. I think your writing style may have changed a little. I'm not sure. I could be imagining it. Sometimes I read certain parts of stories differently. Its a little odd.

It seems like Quin has always had that necklace. Why does he say in an earlier chapter something along the lines of you can't mesmerize me anymore. Thats probably not it at all, I just remember the anymore part. Wouldn't the necklace have stopped any magic? The mead, probably not, but anything else Mathias had tried to do?
MiidKniight chapter 13 . 7/18/2010
Why won't they tell her how not to get caught in these situations? I understand her need to not sign anymore contracts.

Could you describe Theo a little more? I want to understand why so many mistake her for a boy. I think of the girl from Up (Have you seen it?) I first thought the girl was a little boy before the movie started to progress.
MiidKniight chapter 15 . 7/18/2010
I hope that you come back soon. It has been a year. Hopefully things are going better for you and it allows you to write once again. Till then I will wait patiently. Well I'll try.
hey chapter 15 . 7/16/2010
This is so amazing! I love the interaction between Xavier and Oleander.
DaniD3 chapter 15 . 9/8/2009
I am glad you plan on finishing your stories..I'll keep you to your word ;) I hear ya about an unbelievable summer. Mine kicked the shit out of me too.

K..I'll be ready to read and review when you decide to get back to it. Til' then, take care!
Lady Katreina chapter 14 . 8/4/2009
Oh my gosh. What an amazing story. So incredibly descriptive.

Thank you for making Unseen. And double thanks for posting Unseen!
Stargirl62 chapter 14 . 7/15/2009
Hey! Sorry for taking so long to review, my email is being very unreliable lately, and I didn't receive the update notification. (also, sorry if you replied, like I said email has been on the fritz and I didn't get anything) Anyways, no need to apologize at all! This isn't exactly what I had in mind, but I can't wait to see what comes from it :) Now, onto my character analysis portion ;)

But before that, A brief tidbit about the flashback/ dream: This flashback was a little confusing for me because of the point of view dilemma. I know Oleander is seeing the flashbacks as Xavier, but referencing Xavier as Oleander in the flashbacks is a little confusing, and tripped me up a couple of times.

Xavier: Well he wasn't really in this chapter except for the flashback, but that doesn't mean he doesn't get a blurb! I want to know what the deal with Claudia was... Did he trick her like Oleander? Or was there something there before that?

Elijah: ! Okay, so he didn't really do that much, I think we all know Elijah has wanted Oleander for a while but hasn't had the balls to do anything about it. But good for him for finally being honest with Oleander, and it ended up working out in his favor! Of course I can't wait to see what conflicts will arise between him and Xavier because of how they both want Oleander.

Oleander: Did that dream make her horny? Jk Jk, It's time she finally made a move. Live I said above though, she's probably going to start an all out war between Elijah and Xavier.

Quin: Gotta love Quin and his grandma. I have to ask though... Two guys are competing for his attention. Does he swing that way? Or is there a female romantic interest coming his way? This is probably something that's going to be answered later in the story, so no need to reply now, I approve of either, or both of the above options.

Mathias: Someone needs to have a long talk with him about manners. Kidnapping someone and holding him hostage in a room with your creepy sisters is frowned upon by society. But maybe that's how they roll in the faerie courts... Not that I would know ;)

Ramona: Yay for sticking up for Quin! But then again, I’m pretty sure she just wants him for herself.

Edwin: Oh Edwin, always the hero. Can’t wait until the full moon though, then he won’t be so perfect!

Overall this was a decent chapter. I wasn’t wowed because I knew that Elijah and Oleander were going to happen (I think we all did :) I did enjoy the flashback and the kidnapping of Quin. I can’t wait to see how Mathias tries to seduce him. That’s all I have right now, and I think I might just switch email accounts entirely to solve my prob. Update soon please!

chocochip7 chapter 14 . 7/8/2009
omg finally!

elijah is so adorable x)

but i feel so bad for quin, mathias is crazy...
xLilyx chapter 14 . 7/7/2009
Ah its getting interesting, elijah is while cute lol Mathias on the otherhand is creepy...:) Anyway can't wait for more!
incognitus chapter 14 . 7/6/2009
I just stumbled upon this and wow, I must say it's one of the best fantasy/supernatural stories I've seen on FP so far. Great job! The plot's totally captivating, and you've captured the different personalities of the characters beautifully, like how Elijah is so shyly adorable, Mathias is this childish but vicious fanatic fairy, and how Xavier and Talon are sick and cruel (though I can't help but think there's a different side to them they're hiding, especially Talon - I think he really secretly resents Xavier even though Xavier's like a father figure to him - Oedipal complex, maybe?). In comparison, I'd say that out of the main characters, Quin strikes me as the weakest because his personality hasn't been as well-developed. Perhaps that's deliberate on your part? Apart from that small bit of criticism, it's all good. ) I especially love all the interesting little quotes you add at the start of each chapter; they're good teaser introductions. Hope you update soon! )
DaniD3 chapter 14 . 7/6/2009
Ohh happy dance!~ Loved this chapter..FINALLY it seems as if Oleander and Elijah are getting somewhere. He finally shared some of his physical secrets, and Oleander didn't dissappoint with her reaction. Him laying those sudden kisses on her was perfect!

Poor Quin..he was terrified, and who could blame him. Mathias is a very scary, somewhat powerful stalker. Not good..

Great update!
Red Warden chapter 13 . 7/1/2009
now i really want to no what elijah is.
chocochip7 chapter 13 . 6/28/2009
i finally got a chance to read this chapter!

seriously whenever i try something ends up interupting me and i have to get off the computer. very frustrating -.-

oh well the story is getting so great and i can't wait till they search oleander's mind! that should be really cool :D
MyPrinceCharming chapter 13 . 6/26/2009
Haha, I didn't even notice the falling asleep thing until you pointed it out. I just started reading this story a few days ago and I love it! I read borderline and I think that story is amazing (um sorry i didn't review but I'll get better). For some reason, I wasn't very interested in reading Unseen at first. I think maybe because of the ambiguity of the summary? I don't know, but I'm glad I looked at the first chapter because it got me hooked. Can't wait for the next update!
lonelyangel1413 chapter 13 . 6/26/2009
Love the story. I cant wait until you update.
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