Very sweet beginning! I really like the amount of detail you put into bringing the story to life. You used very good descriptions! It was very mysterious with the storm and everything! It's going in my favorites!

Very nice job. Only thing I could nit pik on this one would be one or two puncuation errors, and maybe the wording of one sentence. Not enough for a bad review, though.

Keep up the good work!

Wowza. Um, reviews are usually supposed to be to offer tips for improvement-but I don't think this CAN be improved.

Wow. I wish I could figure out how writers like you manage to convey so much detail in so little words-sometimes it takes me a paragraph to describe ONE person or room and you take like one or two sentences...lol.

A really good start. Your description was good and detailed, and helped bring the setting alive. The characters were interesting too, particularly the protagonist, who wasn't even named until the end. I quite liked his thing for cheese; that was a nice touch. And the strange storms add a sense of mystery to the story and make you wonder what'll happen next. It's always good to have a hook to keep readers coming back.

Overall, it was quite well written and held my interest right through (and beyond).

Well, keep up the good work!