|Reviews for A River in Egypt|
| R0ck3rAng3l4444 chapter 23 . 6/17/2010
| cancelaccount chapter 23 . 6/15/2010
Well it was a short but still very good chapter :) I hope you have time to post more soon. But either way, it's definitely worth the wait!
| MantraMagazine chapter 23 . 6/15/2010
It's been so long. I'm glad to finally see some improvement with those two, it'll be fun to read for posting!
| AAAAAHHH chapter 23 . 6/14/2010
YES! yes! thank god you updated! i NEED THIS STORY WITH A BURNING PASSION. thank you so much for this new chapter!
| Bedlam Chaos chapter 23 . 6/14/2010
Your story is just fab. I love it. It's adorable and cute and well-written and I'm so glad I didn't started it earlier because I'd have died waiting for the following chapters like I'm dying now. Jonty is so adorable, Graeth is fantastic. 'Couldn't take my eyes away of this story even if that means I'll have to drink dubble Red bulls tomorrow to stay awake and study like I need to.
Oh yeah... Did I say I love/adore tour story? It feels so right . And I'll stop writing nonsense and hope you'll understand this bubbly English I'm talking. :)
| LynLin chapter 23 . 6/14/2010
SUPER CUTE. I can't wait for more!
| Vera Dicere chapter 23 . 6/14/2010
there is just something absolutely adorable about this story that i can't resist. i was thrilled to see an update (although i had to wait until i'd watched all my world cup matches today to read it), and i'm definitely looking forward to the next one. :)
| frogs of war chapter 23 . 6/14/2010
Both is always the right answer. Go for it, Jonty!
| Tigaroo chapter 23 . 6/14/2010
I WANT MORE, this felt like a teast, so short and sweet.
| Caelynn chapter 23 . 6/14/2010
Yay, progress! I can't wait to see them finally talk normal around each other. Ahh, male bonding. :)
| big.break.and.laryngitis chapter 23 . 6/14/2010
Aw I love them so much. They are just precious. This chapter was short but oh-so-sweet. It definitely put a smile on my face :D Great job!
| Coriande chapter 22 . 6/14/2010
Oh, this is simply lovely. (I think Gareth's diction is rubbing off on me.) Progress! I felt a little sick for poor Jonty myself at the end of this chapter, but it really is the first time he's properly stuck his neck out, and that's very heartening.
I know you're working on getting Out Of Bounds published - and believe you me, I'll be first in the virtual line to pick it up - but I really think this could make a great published YA novel a la Feeling Sorry For Celia. The two narrators contrast delightfully and it's just a joy to read.
Thanks so much for sharing!
| crackedglass chapter 1 . 6/10/2010
THIS STORY IS CUTE AS A BUTTON. It absolutely appeals to my aesthetic. Walking around a prettified garden with an umbrella and Wellies and an overly verbose and incredibly charming boy? Fashion designer? Crazy mother? Halloween costume parties? Adorable gay boys who make me go 'Squue!'? (And yes, I've read all of the chapters up to now, I'm just too lazy to be bothered going back to the last one.)
I love it. You are a god(dess), Mr. (Ms.) Martini. Really.
| squeel chapter 16 . 6/6/2010
oh god i love everything about gareth! i love how he's so dramatic!
| CiraArana chapter 22 . 5/13/2010
There were updates and I didn't have the time to read them! Argh. So I did the only sensible thing: I read the whole story again. :)
And I still love it. Perhaps even more than the first time. By now, the boys are the kind of good friends you don't see often but are happy to meet. I really like them. Gareth is right, Jonty is adorable. So grumbly and grumpy and panicky. Uh, poor dear, the morning after should take the place of "mortification" in the dictionary.
But as much as I like Jonty, I love Gareth more. Really, does he have a fan club yet and where can I join? I love his insightfullness, his way of expression, and he quotes Shakespeare. What's not to love about a young man who quotes Shakespeare? And that quote did not only fit the situation, it was such a lovely self-characterisation. The quote itself and the fact that he did quote it.
Characterisation is always difficult. I think it's even more difficult with first person narrators. How much can the characters say about themselves before it gets to the much despised "showing, not telling"? And of course I'm picky. I adore it if characters, well, characterise themselves by the way they act and talk, instead of by what an author says about them, or the characters say about themselves.
You managed that beautifully. They both describe themselves, yes, but in a way that comes across as natural, off-hand, just something one says about oneself. What they say about their own characters rings true because they don't just say it. It's there for the reader to see. So when Jonty says he's unobservant, the reader just rolls her eyes and goes, 'What else is new?'
So. I'm really looking forward to the next chapter. That was very brave of Jonty, to approach Gareth. He surprised me; I hadn't expected him to make the next move, to be honest. Yay for surprising stories! And, yeah, I'm really very curious about what made Jonty approach Gareth. And what will happen next. Bonding over a flower bed? Because I'd really like to see them work together on the garden.
*smiles in anticipation of more to come*