Reviews for Vampire Romance |
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![]() ![]() oh, finish the story |
![]() ![]() ![]() aw |
![]() ![]() ![]() Oh... Oops... I meant to put... Awesome story... lol... I guess I just forgot... Sorry |
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![]() ![]() ![]() I really like Aaron, he's a great character. I can't wait for the next chapter, update soon! ~enchanting eclispe~ |
![]() ![]() ![]() hahahhaah i am soo not going to be ur bride - taht is unless u post more... lol |
![]() ![]() ![]() This is a great story, but you should /really/ check the grammar more often. Here are a few mistakes I've noticed: ~You use "a" when you should say "I" (probably just a typing mistake) ~You use no and know incorrectly. No is used as a negative word as in "No, I don't want to go there." and know is used to show knowledge you posses as in "I know that two plus one equals three." ~You incorrectly use then and than. Then is used in sentences like "If you don't want me here then I'll leave." Than is used to compare things, in math it's used in the sense of "more than" or "less than". If you use it in a sentence it would be like this "I'm smarter than Jerry and Kim combined." ~You don't change bite correctly. It should be used as bite, bit, bitten, or bitting. You shouldn't use bite in all tenses. ~You often put words in different tenses than the sentence they're in. For example, you'd put a word in past tense in a sentence that was in pretense. Like "If you /came/ with me, we will have fun." You see how that sounds off? I don't mean to upset you or anything, I just want the story to be as good as possible. (: ~enchanting eclipse~ |
![]() ![]() ![]() okay... im confuzzled, confizzled, as well as confazzled... but post more! |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Awesome story! Can't wait for you to update! ~Raven |
![]() ![]() ![]() Your plot is very cliche, along with your stereotypical characters. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I really like this :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() o me likey lol post more |
![]() ![]() ![]() I LOVE it! Great story! *heart* *heart* *heart* |
![]() ![]() ![]() Very well written. A good plotline and stretch of emotion, but the structure could use some work. The thoughts of the main character should be a bit more explained. |