|Reviews for Eliza|
| Tawny Owl chapter 1 . 3/13/2009
I liked the contrast between the bit with the poet at the beginning and the rest of the story. The first bit was very structured compared to the chaos of the run through the words.
On a personal opinion though, it seemed a bit incomplete at the end becasue we didn't return to the poet and the willow tree - Although the line you did finish on was a good one.
I did find it strange that a farm girl was wearing a silk dress, but you had some great images in here - like the elf king being visible in the wolf's eyes. I also really liked how you handled the dramatic climax at the end.
Was Christopher one of the Shadow Men, or was he someone else?
| Narq chapter 1 . 1/7/2009
OMG! This was such a sad and moving story! I loved it! You are truly talented!
One typo: He hid 'is' face in Eliza’s hair. I think 'is' was meant to be 'his'. Otherwise, beautiful story!
| I. Degolier chapter 1 . 12/28/2008
You have a really good story here. I like the rich descriptions and the way the language resembles that of medieval romances. It gives your story a sense of timelessness. My only suggestion would be to change some of the terms that are a bit too modern because they may pull your reader out of the fantasy. Since your story is written in the style of medieval Western European romances, stay with words that have Latin or Old English roots rather than Germanic or Scandinavian ones. I would suggest replacing "spooked" with "afeared of," "scoot" with "crept" or "glided," "twitch" with "shuddered," "treated" with "regarded," and "caught up with" with "enamored of," since all of these words have Latin or Old English roots predating 1200 A.D. This is a good story as is, though, so these are just minor suggestions if you're interested. :-)
| CookieMunster715 chapter 1 . 12/27/2008
Aw, what an amazing story!
I love the begining, I was trying to see where Eliza came in... that was fabulous!
Her aim was to survive, and he was in her way.