You have such a way with words. I can't help but be a fan and favorite several of your poems :).

This is beautiful

Nice progression of emotions, from 'a sense' to pathetic fallacy at the end where everything seems bleak. I liked the rhymes, especially 'sun' and 'undone', but the middle couplet of the 2nd verse seems slightly forced - at least the vocabulary ('shake' 'quake') don't seem to fit into the overall tone of the poem. But nevertheless, a great piece :)

The words are so simple.

Yet, they leave such an impact.

Awesome Poem:)

And thank you for the review.

I love the rhyming in this poem; it feels natural and really adds to the message. The feeling and sensation you created with your words are really vivid and expertly done. The overall meter is very..needtofinaword...fitting. Really, this is pretty amazing; I hope you keep writing.

~403F

Hey u asked me for my review, so here it is... This poem is really dark and twisted and mysterist and i love it! You use of language is brillant, great job!

artchicky788

Nicely rhymed, and i really like the first line of the poem. Great introduction. :)

This poem has a really good fantasy feel to it, expecially the last stanza. The rotting grass and poisonous rings and weeping flowers are all very symbolic. Great job!

Very, very brilliant.

I can imagine every step in that poem...It reminds me of myself in a way...

I especially liked the ending, and that's good. If a peom or a story doesn't end well, it's usually not worth all the time it took to read it...ending things are hard though. Whether it be a simple poem or a life.

ja ne

Love this. Very nice imagery and I like the last stanza in particular. Very sad

~Holli x

some sweet sun -

nice alliteration, lyrical and sweet...

my feeling of coming undone -

I like this. grief has a tendency to unravel.

this is a lovely poem!

thank you for the review.

The internal rhyme in the last stanza really stands out, because it adds that extra emphasis on sound that attracts the readers attention. This is very relatable due to the imagery and the emotions that are detailed. Well done.

This one has got to be my favorite so far! The last stanza gave me the chills!

I like the sense of darkness and mystery I feel when I read it. Great, really.

very dark, but also very good.

I love the last stanza the best.

good job.

~Karrah

"sweet sun" "undone" I loved the way you had some couplets in this poem. They caught me out and it felt wonderful saying it out loud. Yes, I actually read it aloud.

Narq.