|Reviews for Golden Land|
| LeenElle chapter 1 . 2/1/2009
So while I was editing a chapter today I thought...I haven't heard anything from C. for a while. I decided to check your profile to see if you'd been on, and sure enough, you'd posted a new story! Had to read it of course! Anyway, the start looks really good. You've definitely got a hook there at the end of the chapter. I was half expecting for the Uncle to pull up to a nice big ranch or something, but his clothes are dowdy because they didn't get all gussied up in the West...haha. Guess not! I've been reading some Western romances, found a new author that I like. You might like her too, Cathy Marie Hake. Good Christian historical romances. Anyway! Just a few things in this chapter to mention...
I noticed quite a few typing mistakes in there, nothing major, but they were sprinkled throughout. Also, when Abby was getting off the train, and saw her uncle... It then says that she looked further and noticed her hair was frizzy and her arms were scarred and bruised. I was really confused by that statement. The way you used the word her...I thought you were talking about Abby...which you obviously weren't, so I didn't know who you were talking about. Maybe you could have said...Looking further into the crowd, she noticed a woman with frizzy hair, whos arms were bruised and scraped.
I can't believe she's going to be sleeping on a quilt, and not a bed! Certainly will be a big change for her! Good work!
| wolfprint chapter 1 . 12/27/2008
oh wow. i hope you write more!
| Mercyette chapter 1 . 12/15/2008
Awesome! A new story! As always your main characters are very likeable and wonderful! I like how you jumped right into the story and I can't wait to see how Riley turnes out to be. :) Great chapter and I can't wait to read the rest (again) LOL.