Reviews for Mirrors
OneLastEndeavor chapter 1 . 4/9/2009
Interesting. Wonderfully descriptive, this was. Though, I think the description got a bit redundant towards the middle but the action in the plot kind of made up for it. Several missing commas and other grammar mistakes throughout. I think you'd be able to notice them if you read this out loud to yourself.

The whole "mirror" metaphor (WAS it a metaphor?) was fascinating. I understand that there are multiple interpretations to this, but I didn't think of it as a literal mirror. Though, I'm confused about what the mirror is reflecting to each individual? In the beginning, the woman seemed a bit vain and narcissistic but this soon disappeared as I read on. UNLESS, a part of each one of them lives in the other and that's what the mirror is reflecting? Hm...

Anyway, I found it interesting, and a bit strange, that the man carried around a Bible and "The Stranger". Irony? Hah.

Overall, I liked it. The writing was good, just a tad bit redundant. Too much description can be tiresome. I definitely liked you "Milky Way" piece better but this isn't bad. :)
Luuk chapter 1 . 4/2/2009
This was one deep story, I'll give you that. I loved your descriptions and the thoughts of both individuals. I also like the fact you gave them no names, as if the story was abstract; and i'm assuming it kind of is?

I can definitely tell their love was a strong, yet confusing one, eh? I'm glad he doesn't die in the end and they end up together.

I also love how you added flash-backs in italics. It was clever, fitting them in where you did. Big thumbs up!
Tewr chapter 1 . 3/31/2009
This is a very interesting concept you have here. I enjoyed the way you manipulated their smoking problems to stand as a veil preventing them from seeing exa ctly who the other was. I liked how you expressed the consequence of them not knowing the other well by having her betray. Yes, there was nothing she could do, she was only a woman behind a mirror. ;D The only thing I didn't really like was the lack of developing how they met. I was confused at some moments. Otherwise, I enjoyed it and it was great.
abstow89 chapter 1 . 2/1/2009
This story seems a tad bit reasonable. I think it's about two lovers trapped in different parallel universes who can only communicate via mirror. The grammar was excellent, especially at the beginning with the lady on the balcony; it was very descriptive.

Although, this story still puzzles me. Perhaps my brain can't comprehend a story this deep and emotional, but that doesn't mean I hated it. It'ls like one of those love stories that wasn't meant to be, like Romeo and Juliet...I think.

All in all, it was okay.
Mazkeraide chapter 1 . 2/1/2009
I loved the imagery in this story. It was very well done. I was most impressed.

However, I had absolutely no idea what was going on. Ok, so that's not entirely true. I gathered that the woman and the man once had a relationship, and someone took out a hit on the guy, and then she slept with the hitman. But aside from that I was really, really confused.

I did like it, though!

Mazzie
The Last Xu chapter 1 . 12/19/2008
I loved this story. Really, that's the best I can say. Well, I didn't like your style too much in the beginning, since it sounded very monotonous. However, as I read on, I appreciated the mellow tone of the writing, it suit very well. The transitioning between the two characters had a very nice literary effect, but it also made me a bit annoyed since before I could even grasp what is happening to one person, I'm being dragged to another. (It didn't bother me as much later, after I reread the first few paragraphs)

Although I expected the two to link up, the link between the two people was cleverly placed. One second the guy was alive and paranoid, the next bloody and torn.

What bothered me is... it seems like the man and woman are in love, and the flashbacks of their conversations give off a tender feeling. In the end, the girl's torn feelings are obvious (good job portraying them, by the way), but the emotions of the man were just... well... nonexistent. So it seems you put more energy into the female character, and she is far more realistic than the male character.

There are also a few grammar errors:

"The voice was sudden and it tore her attention away from the mirror towards the door." I'm not sure if I'm misinterpreting the sentence, but I think there should be an "and" in front of "the door." Or, the entire sentence could be reworded to change it from passive voice to active voice.

"Meanwhile, far away, the woman lit another cigarette crammed it into her mouth. Her hands shook at the sky." another missing "and".

Besides those, I enjoyed your story. It was very powerful and captivating, especially the ending.
Catherine Abellanosa chapter 1 . 12/19/2008
i liked the way how you started with the story.. also, i loved the way you described everything... it has a hint of being amateurish but written like a pro... nice...

good job!

keep it up
Serenity Takaishi chapter 1 . 12/18/2008
i loved the first paragraph, it set the mood well and made me interested in what the stroy was about...

there wasn't anythign that really stuck out in my mind that i didn't like. You're description was amazingly written :] and you made vivd pictures in my head of what was going on. good work :] but i'm the kind of person who likes to know how a man or woman said somethign, like whispering, shouting, etc., and you're dialogue was lame for that reason. other than that peeve of mine, it was really good.
Valiant Valkyrie chapter 1 . 12/17/2008
That's deep.
Faith Adeline chapter 1 . 12/17/2008
Very, very interesting. I liked it. Good job.

Faith