Reviews for The Deliverance of You and Me
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 12/13/2012
This is for the September RM. Sorry for the delay.

This is an interesting piece. It's very ambiguous which I liked because it allows the reader to interpret it in so many ways. We can all fill in the relationship between the two people, etc.

The only thing is the ellipse in the first line. I just feel like that sentence should seem more final.
half-sketched.staccatos chapter 1 . 12/28/2008
konban wa

Ah, this says so much in so little, an accomplishment to be noted. :) I was sent to this link by Jesse the Storyteller, who insisted I read it. I am glad I did. Truly a work to be proud of.

"But never lie to / me like that again." I love the implications of this sentence. I know that I deserve it, but obviously YOU don't realize - because while you may have SAID it, you did not treat me that way.

Love. :) Kudos.

Ha det

Jesse the Storyteller chapter 1 . 12/27/2008
Oh wow. I tremendously love this haiku because it is truth in contrast and it's completely fabulous.

Also, I like how "I do." is so small compared to the next sentence. It's simple and profound. Sort of like this whole poem. Hahaha.

*glows* I love this. :D


Attack of the review marathon! (link in profile)
Fractured Illusion chapter 1 . 12/27/2008
Hi Monk! Review Marathon, link in profile! :D

Wow, I really like this haiku! :D All the lines here were awesome. You really know how to use your words to the full capacity and bring emotion into it.

First line must be the best though, because it's such an awesome attention-hook. So cold and cruel!

Keep up the good work!

- Frac
FuckMeAlice chapter 1 . 12/24/2008
This haiku is very new to me. All the nes I've read so far are about nature. I like the departure!

Pay it forward!