Reviews for Soliloquy |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Alphonse's character really surprised me. I very much enjoyed this chapter. |
![]() ![]() ![]() “…the roast pheasant and then the cherry tart…” Do you mean roasted pheasant? “…and his smiled said everything…” Smiled should be smile. “An unmarried walking alone?” I think you forgot woman between unmarried and walking. I can’t wait to see what this whole curse entails. I loved Wren’s character and how you described the oath she’s bound to. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Prince really is a character. He makes me believe him when he only hints that he know the Morgenstern truth. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I did not realize that Pride and Prejudice was originally published anonymously! It’s sitting in my bookshelf beside me while I read this. Wow, you incorporated Runes…Your story just keeps getting better! So Alphonse is alive… For some reason, I think he’s going to die. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Another wonderful chapter. “…boots were perfect for the unsteady grown.” I think you mean ground instead of grown. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I loved the introduction to alchemy. I have a feeling that it's going to play a larger role in the story. You are wonderful at crafting this story. I can't stop reading it! |
![]() ![]() ![]() "...just because my curiousity still remained a bit." You can delete the "a bit." You also spelled curiosity wrong. "...Their all were all more sunken in the others..." I think you're missing a word between their and all, or you used the wrong there. I would also change the last word in this paragraph to disease. I come from a gypsy background. It was very entertaining to read Faerie's descriptions and calling the house gypsy-like. I've recognized some of the Celtic terms you've incorporated and am looking forward to reading about this black magic. I know a fair amount of our folklore and am interested in seeing what you know. |
![]() ![]() ![]() You're very welcome for the awkward point-outs. I'll be sure to point out anything that I find in future chapters as well as the current one. "...of course he bid me to call him Charles..." I think that the "of course" here isn't needed. "...this thick gray soup..." Is thick describing gray or soup? If it is describing soup, then you need a comma between thick and gray. "...would comment upon something about..." Wouldn't it just be on, not upon? "...bowed their head respectfully..." Make head pural. "...discussion was close." Close should be closed. I love the reference to the Brother's Grimm. I'm a big fan of their work. I can't wait to see what this curse is about. I'm looking forward to clicking the next button. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hello there. I heard from my friend, Kittyinjurface, that this story was one of the few left on FP worth reading. I'm looking forward to starting it. "...because she had no need for the extra money anyway." I think that this is awkward the way it is. If you cut out the anyway, I think it would fit the entire sentence better. "... but Father must have heard it..." But implies that you are contradicting something. Here, she is not contradiction anything and so you shouldn't use but. "The woman who lay in the coffin looked her." I think you're missing "like" or some other word between looked and her. "...but had been scolded by my father only moments later..." Again with the but. From this first chapter, I know the rest is going to be good. Thanks so much for writing a beautiful story. There is so much crap on FP now adays. C.H. Morgan |
![]() ![]() ![]() I loved this story! The ending did not disappoint, I loved the way that there was no curse, and you tied in Charle's obsession with Fiona into it, and Prince's orientation, and how Wren is still hateful, but she does love her brother. It was all very final. But I would love to see a sequel to show if Alphonse ever shows up or what, and about Faerie's season and how maybe she finds a husband and that interferes with Alphonse. I would also like to see Prince come back to life and come and visit her. I would really really love to see a sequel, that would make me a really happy reader :) I think you should really look into publishing something when you're ready. I think these stories are publishable, but what I'm saying is that I think you should look into it as a career or something, you really have a talent. |
![]() ![]() ![]() awesome! i love fantasy... will there be a sequel or no? anyhoo, daydee |
![]() ![]() ![]() Amazing story but the ending is so open. Is there going to be a sequal? Please say yes |
![]() ![]() ![]() aw, i love faerie, she's such a courageous character. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Oh My God! That was such a sad ending! But I loved this story so much and once again I'm extremly upset that it's over! Are you going to write a sequel? Cause it seems like it might have been left open for one... *fingers crossed* ;P |
![]() ![]() ![]() OH. MY. GOSH. Tragic ending. Is there a sequel? I feel like you mentioned the verdict on that somewhere... I'll have to go search. Excellent last few chapters! |