|Reviews for Biohazardous Reign|
| astrosono chapter 1 . 12/26/2008
| SinfulWolf chapter 1 . 12/25/2008
Very interesting start to your tale so far. I'm intrigued, and the detail near the beginning grabbed me. I very much wish to see the rest of this.
However, the chapter seemed quite rushed near the end. Everything happened so quickly, just "snap. snap, snap". However, it can work if this was just a set up as I assume it is.
Also, I noticed you had a few run on sentences. Just keep in mind in the future to break up your thoughts with some periods. I find that shorter sentences, especially during action sequences work well to keep the reader's attention.
There were also some parts where you used the same word multiple times in quick succession. While I know this can't always be avoided, try and keep some variation between words to keep the reader's attention.
Those were just some nitpick points, which I hope help in the future. Other than that, great work, can't wait to see some more of this story from you. Good luck.