I was all cool with every other song you used except for the horrific cover that is John Mayer's Free Fallin'. Go for the original by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. That one is much better.

aww great story :)

Free fallin is by Tom Petty

Hey!

I just finished the prologue (not much time :[ But I'll get to the rest tomorrow, hopefully). It was short, but it gave me a lot of information, so plus!

The second sentence sounds a bit run-on-y to me. Maybe try changing it to something like "My father was a pretty wealthy doctor before he died. Of course, he left us some money, but that wasn't as important to our family."

Also, I don't think you need the excessive exclamation points at the end.

Other than that, I love the whole idea of the story (I'm a sucker for cliches XD).

Really sweet I feel bad for Adam, he is a sweety.

FREAKING CUTE! :D

Love it!

ahah you should have made it M though :)

-x-

Padmai -Hidden Assassin-

pretty monotonous start/

I really liked your story. It was a great story line, but it probably could have had some more detail, it felt really rushed. It was good though. keep it up

THIS STORY IS SO AMAZING :D IM SOO HAPPY NOW THIS MADE ME DAY

omg i love ur story

its so good

Aw worthy :)

plz put character pix up

Hey, I think the storyline is good, but the grammar of the story needs a little work. Mostly when people are talking. You tend to have them talk in run on sentences with no breath.

Love,

Becca

so cute!

that was really cute!

post an epilogue please!

loved the story. I just wish Candace got what she deserved. Hate that bitch!

aw! this is such a cute story!