Reviews for Moor
YasuRan chapter 1 . 8/17/2012
Interesting. I liked that narrative was from the Moor girl's perspective, given that I'm Muslim myself. This was again rather short for my liking, but a lot was implied as to how Aliyah is viewed and what her future might entail.
AlysonSerenaStone chapter 1 . 8/17/2012
good job
SuzannaR chapter 1 . 12/28/2008
Great start. Interesting subject area too. I wish you had given a bit more visiual description or Alliyah. It's hard to picture how she looks now.

inkspatters chapter 1 . 12/28/2008
Review Marathon! Take a look at the link in my profile :D

Okay, so what's really great about this is that your story has a sense of place and culture. Like, I know she's Spanish because of the way she talks etc. And I think historical fiction like this is really interesting.

One thing I would watch if I were you is being repetitive. I think, in a few paragraphs I counted that almost all of your sentences began with 'I' and then later, almost all of them began with 'The'. That's not good for flow.

Other than that, this is quite a good story :)