You did a good job of how anytime in this poem that the word "i" occurred, you separated it somehow. It helps to show that the poem is all about "i". :) Great job.

You also have some interesting images here, like "colour myself / into another lifeline" and "sea implications" and "the strangling / half notion you had of me." All are freshly original and clever. Great job working with the words! :)

-Jesse

Attack of the review marathon! (link in profile)

Interesting piece. I felt like I wanted a bit more to it, but it's good as it is. Keep writing.

Anna _