|Reviews for Perfect Crime|
| Greenery chapter 4 . 4/26/2009
! oh no, i hope no one got shot. Suspenseful stuff. The way you added that right at the end, with Scott noticing the similar "e" and making the connection right before it happened was perfect. awesome work!
| Randomisation chapter 13 . 4/24/2009
great chapter! really enjoyed it, it was interesting meeting her father..
| mikey magee chapter 4 . 4/23/2009
Dialog: I liked the way you used dialect in Tessa's dialog. "I shoulda been a cop" was a wonderful way to show her character.
Opening: I've noticed that a lot of the chapters in this story begin with an onomatopoeia. I liked that, it really sets up the chapters well. But, I think it would help if you started them out in different ways as well, unless it has to do with an overall theme. I think changing the opening every now and then would help give the chapters a little more variety.
Relationship: I loved the relationship between Tessa and Darla. It wasn't completely spelled out, but from the info you gave, I could make out a lot. I loved Tessa's reaction to her death. It felt human and genuine.
Character: Tessa's character was beautiful to read. I loved the way she spoke and acted about Darla's death. The way she went through denial and hid it from Scott was beautiful. It was real and I could feel her pain.
Ending: The ending had a nice hook to it. My favorite part were the last lines you used. They were descriptive but in a balanced way. It really kept me guessing.
Well done. Keep Writing.
| Greenery chapter 3 . 4/20/2009
Oh, that councilman got served! Interesting. I wonder what's the what here. I'm going to read more to find out. :]
| Greenery chapter 2 . 4/19/2009
Interesting. Not surprised Tessa has some sort of past, wondering what went down now though. What made her change her name? This is a good chapter. Nothing really stood out to me as needing a fix, except perhaps the part with the bible. It's extremely random and uncommonly convenient for her to have stolen one from a hotel and decided to keep it in her cubicle. I'm pretty sure you can google bible verses, so maybe have her do that instead? She is right by a computer after all.
Wish I had time to read more, but it's 6am and that means naptime.
| Greenery chapter 1 . 4/19/2009
It's been a while since I delved into the mystery section here on fp. I'm glad yours was the story that welcomed me back. This first chapter is simple, nice. Very to the point, and it's an intriguing beginning. Scott seems like an all right guy, and I feel Tessa has unspoken depths to be discovered. And I'm interested in this murder case already.
The writing is good. Succinct and unadorned, sure, but it works perfect for this.
| october lies chapter 12 . 4/8/2009
great chapter, yet again.
you're becoming one of my favorite writers altogether. keep it up!
| criti-sized chapter 2 . 4/1/2009
Another good chapter. I liked how you allowed Tessa's character to shine through more in this one, and the readers sorta got to see a look into what the story may lead into.
The only thing that I can comment on is maybe considering changing the numbers into the word form that way they don't stand out so much.
| criti-sized chapter 1 . 4/1/2009
This seems like a really interesting story. From the descriptions that you've had to the great detail of the characters.
Scott came off like the rookie of a business definitely in this chapter, especially with the way that Tessa treated him, but that could always be from him taking the spotlight from her.
| october lies chapter 11 . 3/31/2009
I love the twist in this! You're really great at writing these crime/mystery stories. Unlike most other authors on here, you don't give away the twist until it's happening. I love the way you write emotions, too - your characters are so much more real and I can almost imagine myself as Tessa. Another thing - I'm not sure if I've mentioned it already or not - you never have abrupt, awkward, or unsatisfactory chapter endings. They always end at what I feel is an appropriate point. I love your work!
| Luuk chapter 1 . 3/26/2009
I'm liking this story so far. I'm always curious as to what Journalists do on the job or during free time. Scott reminds me of someone I know, ironically, but I like him. Tessa seems like a interesting, mysterious character - since not many people know about her home life and all.
Only real problem I found, is the random change of tense here:
"It was embarrassing; he jumped - the force of the bottle slam vibrating across the desk surface and echoing in the small space."
shouldn't it be vibrated and echoed? I sort of get it either way, but it almost threw me off.
As did this paragraph:
"Scott had planned to question Gino Perelli, but realized that this was a family establishment. He shared his name and that he was a reporter, and why he was really at the restaurant. As he spoke, Maria sat in the chair opposite him. Surprisingly she was willing to talk. Scott sipped his coffee and listened. He took the occasional note."
I thought "He shared his name and that he was a reporter" at first was about Gino, but I soon figured it out, obviously. It just made me stop and re-read it. But that could just be me, yah?
Sounds interesting so far. I'm sure to keep reading!
| darestodream chapter 10 . 3/25/2009
Another great chapter! That fire was a huge surprise! I wasn't expecting that. Haha. I love all of the interesting things you throw into the plot. And the subtle romance here and there is very fun as well. Great work!
dares to dream
| darestodream chapter 9 . 3/23/2009
great story! I am really enjoying the characters and the plot line. I hope to see another update soon! Keep up the great work!
dares to dream
| UNKNOWN DOLPHIN chapter 1 . 3/21/2009
I only read this chapter due to lack of time but this is really interesting so far. I like your style of writing! Can't wait to read the rest.
| Silver Dollar chapter 9 . 3/21/2009
Review Game: You know, I read the previous chapters and I have to say this is an excellent piece that you have going on. I liked it because it makes me wish I was actually part of the crime. I also liked it because it makes me feel like I already know the characters. I can't wait for the next chapter. :)