|Reviews for Inca Magic|
| sugaplumprincess chapter 1 . 1/31/2010
Interesting start. The beating is brutal and I think your style of writing sets that off well. Clyde managed to be scary but also more than a generic goon; he has personality, a pretty twisted one. Michael I don't know about yet, but I am interested. At this point I'm wondering what the story's going to be about.
Because you asked for feedback I'm gong to nitpick a bit. I think you use Michael's name in a few spots where 'he' would work better. “Through it all, he could see Clyde bend over Michael,” this makes it seem like the 'he' at the beginning is a third person, 'him' would be better. “Boss Webb wouldn’t let this thug kill Michael,” here too. I think maybe the biggest problem you have is the summary, it doesn't have a hook, it doesn't draw me in even though I thought the title was interesting.
| Decidedly Undecided chapter 9 . 1/17/2010
Yay! I've been waiting for this one for a while now, but it was worth it. If Michael wasn't in hot water before, he sure as sunshine is now. Even if he survives this fight, Boss Webb won't be too happy with him. Poor guy might have to leave town before all's said and done. Keep up the good work!
| Zan chapter 8 . 9/28/2009
Hey... I like the real life experience in this one... factory, metal, layoffs, tension... nice! There are a couple of spelling errors but I feel like this story has a half Oceans 11 and half South American Lit... Some places feel like you're telling play by play though... ie: with his mom and telling every action instead of focusing on feelings or the story line.
| Decidedly Undecided chapter 7 . 3/25/2009
Aha! So it WAS the book! This is getting very interesting... So, can Michael turn any metal into gold? And if so, how much, and how often? What will he do with the power of this "Midas Tome"? And what's going to happen when someone else finds out about this, like, say, Boss Webb? Ooh, so many questions! Keep up the good work!
| Decidedly Undecided chapter 4 . 1/20/2009
A handful of monetary woes and a dash of intruige...I like the way this story is shaping up. I'm looking forward to learning more about Boss Webb and what part those handwritten pages play in all this. And just who was that old man? Is he the one who turned the watch gold? Or was it gold before? Ah, so many possibilities! More...I must have MORE!