Aww! That was sweet! :D

(Sigh) I wish this kind of stuff happens in real life :D

Could be better

aww so cute! Loved it!

Incredibly cute story. And hilarious. But challenge responses often are. :D

I loved it! :)

great story :) i thought it was really cute :D

D'aw... how cute. But the underlining was a tinge too annoying, and the whole story wasn't as humorous as I wanted it to be.

wow that was really cute!

Aw. It's so cute! (Not to mention that it was my member challenge, XD)

I get the feeling that most of the story was basically building up, and the ending was just so sudden, though. And you used way too many exclaimation points. And show, not tell.

xoxo,

Acantha

This story was brilliant, and I freaking loved it!

I loved the friendship they had and everything.

A really good story, nice work.

aww

so cute :)

it's like midnight here in australia

so i wish you a very happy new years :)

i loved the story

izzie

aw how cute

)

Very fun. And cliche, of course, but very creative setup. I liked it. (: I'm very glad xoxluurve added this to our c2. (:

aw so kute

D'aw, that was pretty cute.

Instead of explaining the background info, maybe put it in dialogue or flash backs or something else? It seemed a little... I dunno. Forced.

I really liked how you integrated everything though.

Hahaha, I love how Talen's first initial and last name are T-Rex. I think that's really cute. (:

You're right, that was totally cute!

Some suggestions for the flow: the explanations of Kindergarten were a little abrupt, and if we hadn't known they were necessary to the challenge, would have been just unnecessary. SO. I suggest having Kairi reminiscing about how they got to where they are - meaning, going back to different cute moments as well as the Kindergarten ones.

Nice irony (or would it be a pun? hmm. well, good play on words, anyway) with the cherry, my friend. ;)

The sleepover scene was adorable, for sure, but again, a little quick. I'd suggest adding some more good ol' sexual tension before the actual sleeping part. Have them rummage for food in the kitchen, and brush hands. Have them sit through an awkward scene in a movie. Et cetera, et cetera.

And finally - "The kiss was incredible. She felt waves of love hit her face. He felt his heart pounding in his chest. All the words that everyone was said to them rushed through their heads." Ignoring the fact that the last line doesn't make sense - that's just a typo - these lines didn't quite work for me. If you feel uncomfortable writing a kiss, then just say "their lips met" and have the meaning in the relationship come after, in the dialogue.

Super cute! I loved it.

~Julia