Reviews for Exploited
sealednectar chapter 1 . 2/18/2010
This was such a great poem! Well done. I loved the rhythm, rhyming and perfect flow.
IfWeWereInLove chapter 1 . 12/14/2009
Ehmagawd. SHIT. I love it.
Icyfire4w5 chapter 1 . 5/9/2009
Cool, I love the rhyme scheme in this poem. I also love "my castle destroyed" and "princess of the fairy-tales". Such phrases remind me of the Middle Ages, haha.
in plurrimi decorus via chapter 1 . 4/7/2009
Very strong emotions in this. You seem to be good with rhymes. Have you ever used a rhyming pattern other than aa-bb-cc-dd-ee-ff or abab-cdcd-efef? Ex.) a simple option is ababcc each stanza and or make it a sonnet with a final rhyming couplet at the end of 2 stanzas. (14 lines) I think this is the Shakespearean pattern. Just something to try if you haven't yet. Also, look up "meter" of poems, you will learn a lot. Good Luck
the meaning of life chapter 1 . 4/5/2009
I like this one better than the other two. I especially liked the lines:

"Your sly hands hold me back in chains

This temptation I try to refrain"

"Young rose clutched by November frost

Iron will rusted and completely lost"

Love those lines the most! good poem

-The Meaning Of Life
jay darque chapter 1 . 4/3/2009
omg this one is even better. i would just like to say this totally explains him!
vitriolicvermilion chapter 1 . 1/2/2009
I adore the line that says "Never noticed the hastily painted gold". This poem flows incredibly well. There's a lot of emotion in it, but not too much, just the right amount.

Rhyme scheme is good, I especially liked the rhyme between extinguished and undistinguished. Lovely. (:
Remera chapter 1 . 1/1/2009
The rhyming and imagery make this a powerful poem.
AStrangerToYou chapter 1 . 1/1/2009
Well done. I wouldn't normally like romance stories but this is pretty well written... and there's a lot of atmosphere. The title is really dramatic as well. ;D