Reviews for Father of the Bride
jake Chan chapter 1 . 7/26/2009
Ah, this is realistic. Almost painfully realistic, but it's well written; the strain between the father and daughter, and efforts of Maggie and Richard to ease that strain. But I feel that if Annie was really as angry as she seems in the last conversation, and she also thought that Maggie hated her, she would've never agreed to come to the dinner, much less call. I don't know if even her new husband's urging would be enough.

But as she did agree, the dialogue is very well done, very believable. It's a sad story, but I think you wrote it well. :D
Black Lotus Flower chapter 1 . 2/1/2009
This was a pretty good idea. It was fairly well written but I think you could have used more description. The climax was definately the end. Overall, good job. _
blurrylights chapter 1 . 1/21/2009
This was really good...amazingly well written, very nice emotion.
Fractured Illusion chapter 1 . 1/5/2009
I was and still am confused that the relationship with Annie and Maggie doesnt seem so strained. Either way:

I felt the story was a bit uninteresting until the confrontation part came. I felt the first half was more of a "okay, what's going on?".

But I liked the confrontation. It surprised me and had me interested in what was going to be said.

Good luck in the contest!

-Frac
SuzannaR chapter 1 . 1/3/2009
Review Game Depth

Opening: The opening line was ok...it made the reader curious as to what the news on the phone was. You made a good choice to start the oneshot off like that. Everyone knows that phone calls early in the morning is usually bad news!

Plot: I rather liked this idea as a oneshot. But I'm confused by a few things. Firstly why did this news about the daughter getting married cause so much dismay? She didn't call to say that she was dying, she's only getting married! It's not like she's 16! Plus they obviously weren't close...he hadn't seen her for 4 years, she was dating the bf for a year and never mentioned it...I just don't see why he thinks it's so bad. Plus why would he be pestering the wife (home wrecker :p) about how the bf looked? How would she know? If she knew about the bf why didn't she tell him?

Also since he didn't see her for 4 years, it seems to me that you would spend some time on when they finally meet, about how she looked etc...but you gave more a description of the bf.

Characters: I like the idea of the characters and this story but I think that you could have spent a bit more time developing them especially the father. Seriously, he must have known why she would be angry with him...he should be feeling guilty, very guilty. The wife comes off very sympathetically, good job there. I would probably have written her up as a scheming (home wrecker) witch. The daughter too, I'm a bit confused by. Why would she even come when the wife invites her? I guess he's her father after all and she wanted him to see the husband. But I think you could have made her more angry.

Enjoyment: I thought that this was a good oneshot, good storyline. Also I think it works as a oneshot. You're quite creative to have come up with this just from that one line :)

S
nul chapter 1 . 1/3/2009
Oh god. This made me so sad, and unhappy.

It's amazing that you thought of this through just one sentence (?), " How did we end up like this?"

I wouldn't have.

Written well, and emotionally evoking.

Loved it.

kthnxbai,

Martin the Waterskier
Narq chapter 1 . 1/2/2009
It's nice, intruging, and interesting, but I'm a bit confused...was the girl once Don's ex-wife or something? Or what happened exactly between father and daughter for them to become like that...

Narq.