|Reviews for Once Upon A Nightmare|
| musicbox chapter 22 . 11/2/2013
I loved the interactions between Armand and Violet in this. But I must say, I loved the interactions between Alexander and Violet much more. There relationship has a real crispness and bite to it which is absolutely refreshing to read.
| musicbox chapter 21 . 11/2/2013
I found it strange that she slipped into a nightmare, considering I thought that wasn't supposed to happen in this world. Still, I managed to overlook it and still enjoyed the chapter.
| musicbox chapter 20 . 11/2/2013
I didn't find all of this particularly necessary to the story. I think for the earlier stuff it would have been better to just catch some images and phrases. Flit through the early experiences until you reach the more extreme moments. But that's just me. I personally am someone who prefers writing which is completely stripped of all fat, and even all meat, and even all bone. Just marrow. That's what I like.
| musicbox chapter 19 . 11/2/2013
Again, another fabulous chapter. But I must say I enjoyed the moment of play with the Night Terrors especially so. I do hope we see more of them in The Nightmare King.
| musicbox chapter 18 . 11/2/2013
I loved this chapter. But I kinda want to revisit the french thing, since it was brought up with the naming of Armand again. I find the idea that the nightmares and dreams picking a language to be a little strange. Their borders don't operate in the same way ours do, so why would they have one language over another? Had you not really addressed languages at all in this story, it never would have come to mind and, if it did, I would have thought: "Well, they are imagination in some way, so I guess that their language communicates to everyone equally. They're not really speaking English, they're just using a universal language which translates into any subconscious."
If that gibberish makes any sense, at all...
| musicbox chapter 17 . 11/2/2013
I loved the use of Poe in this chapter. Sometimes I find quoting things at length can be quite boring, but you did so in a way that truly added to that moment in the story. Bravo!
| musicbox chapter 16 . 11/2/2013
The escape was fantastic. I loved the mystery you maintained with the Alexander figure. I must say, the truth astonished me, but made complete sense.
| musicbox chapter 15 . 11/2/2013
I love the mind exchange between Alexander and Violet. Very well done.
| musicbox chapter 14 . 11/2/2013
Loved how things turns around so quickly in this one.
I find the french stereotype of the love of chocolate a little weird. Also, didn't find the love of chocolate particularly essential to the story as a whole, to be honest.
| musicbox chapter 13 . 11/2/2013
I am not entirely sure why she has to work with Donovan on this one. It would have been better if he had something she needed, instead, he proposes a plan which she could carry out without his help. Maybe he could have something which can open the Stitch in Time, he just doesn't know how to get there? I don't know.
| musicbox chapter 12 . 11/2/2013
What a range of emotions in this one!
I was a little confused as to why Armand and Violet couldn't keep themselves under control at the table. Were they still giggly from the race? It seemed like they had time to recover from that. Maybe clarify a bit.
| musicbox chapter 8 . 11/2/2013
Also, this is super nit picky, but "J'ai peur non, cherie" is a literal translation of "I'm afraid not, dear", but it's actually gibberish in french. I think you're looking for: "J'ai bien peur que non, ma cherie."
Unless the point is for Armand to not be very good at french, since he doesn't speak it. At which point, ignore me. :P
| musicbox chapter 11 . 11/2/2013
Loved the interaction between Armand and Violet, of course.
I also love the justification Violet gives for snooping, but would have liked to see it be a little more of a spark instead of a side thought. Perhaps Violet can start by noticing she's about to let her curiosity get the best of her, then resist it, choosing to respect his privacy, at which point her flame itches and she suddenly becomes furious at the situation he's put her in and the fact that he has not respected her privacy at all. Which drives her to quite smugly feel that of course there's no harm in her snooping a little, considering how little Alexander discloses and how much he takes.
Just a thought. :)
Again, lovely lovely work though.
| musicbox chapter 10 . 11/2/2013
I feel like we were slightly bombarded with characters in this chapter. Considering that Vince, Simon, and Johnny (and another one? I don't remember) don't make too many appearances from here on out, I would maybe consider trimming the number of characters down. Maybe consider picking one or only really NAMING one (Johnny, probably).
Otherwise, this was an excellent chapter. The tension between Alexander and Violet is such a driving force in this story.
| musicbox chapter 9 . 11/2/2013
You have a real knack for depicting action. And I love how Armand just undermines everything in this moment.