Reviews for Once Upon A Nightmare
musicbox chapter 15 . 11/2/2013
I love the mind exchange between Alexander and Violet. Very well done.
musicbox chapter 14 . 11/2/2013
Loved how things turns around so quickly in this one.

I find the french stereotype of the love of chocolate a little weird. Also, didn't find the love of chocolate particularly essential to the story as a whole, to be honest.
musicbox chapter 13 . 11/2/2013
I am not entirely sure why she has to work with Donovan on this one. It would have been better if he had something she needed, instead, he proposes a plan which she could carry out without his help. Maybe he could have something which can open the Stitch in Time, he just doesn't know how to get there? I don't know.
musicbox chapter 12 . 11/2/2013
What a range of emotions in this one!

I was a little confused as to why Armand and Violet couldn't keep themselves under control at the table. Were they still giggly from the race? It seemed like they had time to recover from that. Maybe clarify a bit.
musicbox chapter 8 . 11/2/2013
Also, this is super nit picky, but "J'ai peur non, cherie" is a literal translation of "I'm afraid not, dear", but it's actually gibberish in french. I think you're looking for: "J'ai bien peur que non, ma cherie."

Unless the point is for Armand to not be very good at french, since he doesn't speak it. At which point, ignore me. :P
musicbox chapter 11 . 11/2/2013
Loved the interaction between Armand and Violet, of course.

I also love the justification Violet gives for snooping, but would have liked to see it be a little more of a spark instead of a side thought. Perhaps Violet can start by noticing she's about to let her curiosity get the best of her, then resist it, choosing to respect his privacy, at which point her flame itches and she suddenly becomes furious at the situation he's put her in and the fact that he has not respected her privacy at all. Which drives her to quite smugly feel that of course there's no harm in her snooping a little, considering how little Alexander discloses and how much he takes.

Just a thought. :)

Again, lovely lovely work though.
musicbox chapter 10 . 11/2/2013
I feel like we were slightly bombarded with characters in this chapter. Considering that Vince, Simon, and Johnny (and another one? I don't remember) don't make too many appearances from here on out, I would maybe consider trimming the number of characters down. Maybe consider picking one or only really NAMING one (Johnny, probably).

Otherwise, this was an excellent chapter. The tension between Alexander and Violet is such a driving force in this story.
musicbox chapter 9 . 11/2/2013
You have a real knack for depicting action. And I love how Armand just undermines everything in this moment.
musicbox chapter 8 . 11/2/2013
I thought this concept was amazing. OF COURSE dreams and nightmares don't dream.
Genius move on your part. What better way to keep us connected with Alexander and introduce more of his story to us than to perfectly make it so that Violet can tap into his memories when they're both asleep.
musicbox chapter 7 . 11/2/2013
Also, I realized that "City of Nightmares" could also be an interesting title choice.
musicbox chapter 7 . 11/2/2013
What a perfect meeting between Violet and Gloom. It was at this point that I think your quality of writing became it's best and sustained that amazing quality for the rest of the story.
musicbox chapter 6 . 11/2/2013
"Fear is an anticipatory feeling, not an actual one." What an excellent moment.

But these two really didn't plan this out too well, did they?

This was a perfect chapter. Except for the fact that it might have been interesting to move the beginning of this chapter with her father to the end of the previous chapter. End on a good note before diving into the insanity of this chapter.
musicbox chapter 5 . 11/2/2013
"It tastes a little different when they're scared for you not of you."

Loved that.
musicbox chapter 4 . 11/2/2013
I loved how the dream Violet crafted showed how the two have some common ground. Superbly done.

I also loved the ending of this. Considering how people who do have sleeping disorders are often met with skepticism and delayed diagnosis, I think you did a very good job of shocking Violet's parent and teacher.
musicbox chapter 3 . 11/2/2013
I have little to say about this chapter, it was very well done. I enjoyed the nod towards the fateful kiss which seals their souls.
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