|Reviews for Once Upon A Nightmare|
| alkonost chapter 20 . 9/14/2013
No way. Is jack going to release hina, or even worse- take her place?! WHAT what is going on I'm baffled oh god
Jacks words to armand is probably "take care of your brother" or something sigh I kind of feel bad for armand even though considering the fact that he's a freakin night terror that can shift and OHMYGOD armand is like mystique! Even better, he can mimic their powers too. Which is awesome and yet he was sort of a shadow of alexander. And that sucks.
Oh jack, you promised you wouldn't kill her. YOU promised. If you let someone else kill her, her death isn't on your hands. She dies, you don't break your promise. Win win. But nooooo you just had to emprison her. But if jack is either dead or 'gone' (I hope not) then alex or armand or anyone could kill her (BUT wHAT IF JaCK TOLD ARMAND To PROmISE NoT TO KILL HINA OR TO NOT LET ALEX KILL HinA?ok jacks words might not even be close to this but I'm just guessing and my imaginayions when its given a cliff hanger goes sky rocket to pluto).
The dreams need to know what their queen really is. And not know her by the words of someone who is blindly (I'm guessing) in love with her.
Also, too much joy can result to insanity which is why good isn't always good (lol if that made sense at all).
Anywayss as always, have a great day! That was a great update!
p.s. I think hina needs rehab. I can assume she already know that her (THEIR) mother's death isn't jack's fault but she's turned a blind eye to the truth and is just blaming jack as a way of closure and its easier to blame someone when someone you love is lost (when anything bad happens actually). But if she doesn't know then someone needs to tell her asap and knock some sense into her.
| MelodyOfMyLife chapter 9 . 9/14/2013
THIS. IS. SO. AWESOME.
| MelodyOfMyLife chapter 7 . 9/13/2013
Just, seriously. I can't get over how amazing this story is. I guarantee you it's one of the best I've read on fictionpress. :) Also... I'm too curious! Alexander, what is your explanation?! :OOO
| MelodyOfMyLife chapter 6 . 9/13/2013
Holy Morpheus THIS IS AWESOME. So interesting! xDDD
| MelodyOfMyLife chapter 4 . 9/13/2013
Thank you. Just... thank you for writing such an interesting story. It's unique, well-written, interesting, and I just love it. I'm hooked. Like, seriously. It's 2AM and I can't stop reading. xDDD
| Nikkome Konno chapter 20 . 9/12/2013
But-but...oh dear, I'm so confused.
| alkonost chapter 19 . 9/10/2013
Oh dear oh dear oh dearr stop making me fall for armand even deeper why armand WHY damn is she going to have to choose between the brothers? But I think the reason vi is so easily attached to armand is because he looks like alex but with a more bearable personality hah. Though that really is at the bottom of the list considering she could die at any given moment. Or when she returns to her physical self that won't even matter. And to rub salt in the injury, she wont be able to dream (thanks again alex). Stay and die or leave and knowing for sure that your first visit will be your first and last ever visit. Its like narnia all over again damn it only this time there's no other option but to leave or die. BUT that's just my pessimistic prediction and I hope you'll always come to surprise me wheeee
Have a nice day!
p.s. Wow gloom's power is so handy. I could use it against someone (like to a complete stranger) and say "I know your secret" then they'd just think we're bluffing but then I actually do know and to see the look of horror on their faces hahAHAHA I guess that ability should never fall into the wrong hands lol. Speaking of which, would the power of dreams and nightmares be used by a human in the mortal world? And can dreams and nightmares take physical form in the human world? Or they just linger in the minds of humans
| SolanaNight chapter 18 . 9/9/2013
I only review stories if they were either tantalizingly superior or gag-reflex dreadful...
Yours was the former. Did I scare you for a second? Probably not.
I have become ridiculously picky when it comes to what I read, and when I pick out a novel on this site, ninety percent of the time I don't make it past the first page. So, imagine my utmost joy when I stumble upon this little jewel! For the sake of tradition, I shall shower you in praise before moving onto critiques.
First off, I just want to say I find it a tad bit ironic you chose Fallon, Nevada of all places for the setting considering I lived there for a little while. Especially since Fallon is a tiny little town.
Anyways, back to the topic at hand, your concept is original. It isn't completely unique, no, but it had a certain twist to the plot that I had never thought of before. That's what I like to see. So many novels are similar in plot, setting, and so forth that they might as well been cloned and rolled off a factory conveyor belt. So it is similar to breathing a crisp lung full of pine-tinted mountain air when I come across a story like this. If I could give you a gold star, as clichéd as it is, I would.
I love your allusions. It is clear you are at least decently well-read. Many authors probably haven't even heard of Wuthering Heights, let alone read it! To use allusion really isn't a big deal, but I'm making it into one simply because it feels like that less and less people are reading the classics. In fact, many of those references were most likely lost on a majority of the readers... What a pity.
Your use of grammar was decent. There were a few sentence structure issues here and there, but nothing too complaint-worthy. That does not mean it cannot or should not be improved. It most definitely should be.
Now, this is where I merge into criticism. Don't worry, it is constructive. :P One of the weaker elements of this story is its descriptions. They are detailed enough to where I at least get a picture, but it could certainly use some work. My piece of advice is this: Focus on using only specific nouns and creative verbs mixed with some unique figurative language. What makes for awesome writing is not, as many people seem to think, adjectives or adverbs. Although adjectives and adverbs are important and play their part, they do not account for awesome writing. Allow me to throw out a few examples.
Which stands out in your mind more? 1) The long-haired guy moved quickly across the room. 2) The man, his ends of his hair tickling his chin and shielding his eyes, jogged half way across before performing a somersault and landing into a crouch at the other end of the room.
In the second sentence I didn't use an adjective or an adverb. (At least in a traditional sense I didn’t. I did use prepositional phrases as modifiers, but that's beside the point.)
1) The bright sunlight shone off the girl's blue eyes. 2) The sunbeams shot down from the sky only to be captured like thoughts in a dream catcher in the pools of cerulean swirling in the girl's irises.
Do this, and you'll have a high-quality book in no time.
Also avoid clichés. Like the plague. Ha. See what I did there?
I hope I was of help to your cause. With a smidge of elbow crease and chrome finish, this could easily be published. It certainly deserves it.
| alkonost chapter 18 . 9/9/2013
First of all, thankyou alex for ditching vi you r the best bodyguard in the world
Second of all, donovan? What is wrong wit u? And u have wings? Is donovan half pegasus or something? I was not expecting wings at alL. The fact that his name is my high school's math teacher makes the rage even more fiery for me. But surprisingly I don't really despise him that much?
OH and just when I thought you were THAT good, you're even better! You reeeally keep us on edge my god
I didn't expect it to NOT be alexander at all but then...fgahgsahjdkb effing plot twist
At first I was like "huh what's going on what what what" and then it struck me that its armand oh mY GOD I am so slow what ze hell" bUT THEN "wAIT WHAT IS IT NOT ARMAND? HUH?W HO?"
And then "ok what is this armand or not dammit I am a conFUSED SOUL" and then "oh so its not him oh okay" But then "MOTHERFUKIN ARMANSD IM CRYING O-M-FOOKIN-G wHY ARManD wHAI SOBS GLOOOOOOOOOOOOOM CRIES CRIES FLAILS AWAY" excuse me while I curl into a corner
And yet I thought gloom's death was heart breaking (gloom was such a good buddy i-), but then you give us armand's story (thanks a lot) which is so heartfelt and all. Though I was actually expecting armand to be 'something else' since armand is so armand, I didn't think he'd be a night terror (but he did somehow stopped a night terror at the masquerade SO that means you've thought the story through since the beginning?wow)
Ok well I really enjoyed the updates have a nice day!
p.s. When donovan ripped I book I gasped along like how could you rip a book I am dumbfounded HOW
| lilliesdon'tlie chapter 18 . 9/8/2013
I downloaded your whole e-book a week ago, and may I say, you're a brilliant writer! All I want to know is when book 2 will be ready to share. Regards.
| caffeinequeen chapter 18 . 9/8/2013
Oh wow that backstory was awesome!
| SweetHeartCandy chapter 18 . 9/7/2013
ACKJHSNJVCBD! I'm sorry, but I absolutely adore Violet and Armand as a couple! Learning his story only makes me love him that much more! Can't wait for your next update!
| Nikkome Konno chapter 18 . 9/7/2013
Oh yay! Ive always liked Armand! At first I thought he was beginning to become evil or something because Jack didn't give him the Jewel of Imagination. phew!
But...really? A Night Terror? Huh. Didn't see that coming. Is he like the King of Night Terrors because his abilities are much further developed than a typical one?
| Guest chapter 17 . 9/6/2013
I paid for this for it just to be posted for free? Bummer.
| Nikkome Konno chapter 17 . 9/5/2013