Reviews for Scream
ms. ogynist chapter 1 . 4/13/2009
whoa! D: i’m ever so sorry. & i know condolences only mean so much; they can’t turn back time & they can’t make it all just a dream, but they’re probably all i can give you, so i’m sorry. i’m so, so, so sorry. ): i also realise you said you weren’t raped, but this is evidently a painful piece for you, possibly a metaphorical rape or a rape of someone near to you – & so all the same, i am sorry.

having said that though, this is a marvellous piece of poetry – wracked with emotion. it’s sincerely tragic & powerful; it’s wonderful, but in that sickening way that means you really caught the feeling. again, i’m obliged to tell you that i’m ever so sorry, but also a huge thank you: posting this was a brave feat, & i hope you know that you’re incredibly strong & an amazing person – you don’t deserve such pain.

i like how the theme of the poem runs down the stanzas in your bolded font – like you’re hiding the fact, but at the same time you want people to know of it – to warn them, to get closure, to let them know of your deepest feelings… it’s also noteworthy that this process is repeated in the second stanza, but here it is both bolded & italicised – as if repeating it in your mind, thinking it over & questioning how/why it happened. it’s heartbreaking. ): one thing that i think i ought to mention is, unless my eyes are playing up on me, that where you go to highlight the ‘r’ in the first stanza, you’ve highlighted both the ‘r’ & the ‘e’. i don’t know if this was intentional – if these are important initials or if you additionally want to spell out “reaper” – but if you’re trying to spell out what i think you want to spell then just a heads up that you’ve used one more letter than you needed to. (:

the lines are all short & sharp & thus impactful, which really helps them to be so impactful on the audience. they’re often accusing statements, which is expected, & the sheer multitude of them coupled with their length gives it a racy, panicked kind of pace – really hammering home the emotion that runs through your verse. when this is added to the hurt, disgusted and angry tone – really echoed by your repetition of “fuck him” – the audience can do nothing but feel helpless to the story you’re painting. also, the rhetorical questions are a nice touch & very powerful, & i agree – how could he?

it’s also interesting how i can read this with so many interpretations in mind. in the first stanza you say: “my mouth shut to the outside world”, but is it exclusively the outside world? as in, although he couldn’t physically keep you quiet, maybe he did mentally? inside, there could have been silence – although you could shout & yell in the moment, later on you may have found yourself unable to think or speak of these events. additionally, you speak of “pleasure” & “absolute excitement” & i have to wonder what you mean by this. possibly this is the use of sarcasm, but maybe this pleasure & excitement was gained by confronting these issues & not being able to keep your mouth shut – displaying this man for who he really is. or maybe it’s a contextual factor, maybe the narrator was in some form intoxicated & previously in a happy mood, but still this didn’t stop her from voicing her lack of consent when the events began to unwind.

& i’m not sure if this was deliberate, but i like that when reading your parenthesised stanza downwards, if i take the beginning letter from each line i get “wtf” – displaying once more the disbelieving & hurt nature of the narrator’s mind.

this was obviously a dreadful experience for you; & so thank you for sharing your piece with us. various people have offered the opportunity for you to talk with them about this, even though you’ve already said you’re not going to speak of it. not to be annoying – i just want you to know that i care – but i will also add myself to that list of people. i know we haven’t talked before, & i completely understand that this is hard for you & that you probably won’t want to speak, but the offer’s there. sometimes it’s easier to speak to people if you don’t know them anyways. (: i relate to this poem a little more than i’d like to (it wasn’t a rape but it could well have been, it was a sexual assault & i’m very thankful i got away), & so if you ever need to talk (even if it’s just about the weather, haha) then i’m here for you. (:

all in all, brilliant poem & i’m proud of you for posting. i hope all is well, & always will be well, in your life. a big thumbs up & a bigger review (& an even bigger cyber-hug) from me.

His Broken Little Flutterby chapter 1 . 2/28/2009
Wow, reading this I just feel the sadness drenched into the words. Sorry it happened v.v
scoreboards.on.bedposts chapter 1 . 1/5/2009
stix hunny, i know many times before, i've said to you "i understand".. but wow, do i know exactly what you mean.

my first time was a rape. maybe not the same definition of rape that many people have in mind, but it was.

i didn't want it, but when i said no, it meant nothing.

cheer up, live does go on.. it's a tough thing to forget, but you're not alone on this one. if you ever need anything, anyone to talk to, i'm here.
Chidaruma Kamisori chapter 1 . 1/5/2009
Oh god. This was chilling.

Whatever happened to you, I hope it gets easier to live with.

pixy dust and fairytales chapter 1 . 1/5/2009
Very emotional. Real and raw. One of the reasons I love writing, is because it gives you free reign to just let go of all the feelings you have inside, without having to deal with all the messiness that comes of telling someone. Great job. I hope things get better for you, and if you ever do need to talk, I'm here. In the meantime, keep writing :) And never give up, that's the biggest one :)

Isca chapter 1 . 1/4/2009
In regards to your A/N: "I can't. I can't do it. It's too horrible." You CAN talk about it. Maybe not now, but later on in your life, I suggest that you do, if only because by telling someone, you let the 'control' that the person/memory/experience has on you disappear. I will not ask you questions. I will not pry. But, know that there are people on FP who are here for you, really care, and who can lend advice because, unfortunately, they've been through similar experiences.


Broken Winged Bird chapter 1 . 1/4/2009
I can literally FEEL the disgust dripping off these words, honestly. I'm sorry for whatever happened to you! I'd ask you what happened, but you already expressed your opinion on the subject, so I'll just stick with an "I"m sorry..." and a hug. -virtual hugs.- ('Cept virtual hugs just aren't the same...)
deletethisaccountplease9 chapter 1 . 1/3/2009
ok... :( im sorry... if you ever need anything... anything... you know how to reach me
sweets555 chapter 1 . 1/3/2009

on a horrible and morbid note, i love how 'hidden' in your poetry is the general topic. that helps a lot. and it shows thought, and effort. great job.

i know you dont want to talk about it, but if you suddenly do, i'm here.

you're amazing and you're strength amazes me.