|Reviews for Obsession|
| Stiff Spines chapter 1 . 2/20/2009
Not bad. It's short and simple. Almost a bit too short. Like someone else said, you should elaborate on why this obsession makes you reliable.
| S.C.R.E.A.M.I.N.G chapter 1 . 2/11/2009
This is short and sweet.
To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure I understand what you mean by your obsession making you reliable. They really didn't link together in my mind, you know? It was confusing to me, and I think it would be to be most readers. There wasn't much substance to back up your thoughts, and instead of it being mysterious and poetic, it just seemed incomplete. It almost didn't reach the requirements for poetic merit, and I think it simply needs more. More energy, more words, and more explanation.
However, I understand that you probably wrote this as just a short and simple poem. Critiquing it based on only that, it's definitely not bad. The ending wrapped it up well, and even without the substance it needs, it read and flowed well. Just remember to stand out in a crowd!
| effervescent-sentiments chapter 1 . 1/7/2009
There really isn't very much to critique you on here.
I like that it's short and to the point - you knew your limits, knew when to cease your ramblings. Though this didn't really reflect an obsession, more like a passing thought. You savor obsessions, flip them over in your mouth with your tongue and keep it there.
You could improve just how ... bare it feels. I wasn't very impressed, to be honest, with anything other than your restraint. Add images. Add substance. Keep your point how it is. Be poetic!