Reviews for Sixteen
deletethisaccountplease9 chapter 7 . 5/8/2009
super duper mega late review: I am glad to see you finished this collection. On a whole it sends a very powerful message, especially when taken as entries over time. This last one was perhaps my favorite. It took on a life of its own, and screamed to the heavens the revelations you experienced. Spectacular job,

Isca chapter 7 . 3/7/2009
"She is alone." Heart-breaking!
your fishy chapter 7 . 3/6/2009
this collection has been rather therapeutic for you hasnt it? ) i'm glad for that.

Its good, not really the best you have written but definitely something worth reading (i will probably read them all again as a whole to get the full feeling)

i hope she realizes just how big a bitch she is some day, and that things wont always work out the way she thinks they are... i hope for a lot of things for you ) and one is that you can get over her, i know its easier said than done, but i hope you can push her aside and move past her, she really isnt worth all this pain, she's just a bitch, and awful friend, and... well... a few other things i guess i wont say on here.

glad the collection is done, and i hope it hit a nerve with her.

lots of love,

your fishy
pixy dust and fairytales chapter 7 . 3/6/2009
I couldn't either. Wonderful job.

Isca chapter 6 . 2/27/2009
The tone of the opening line is brilliant. The bitter, even begging, quality to the speaker's voice is striking.
pixy dust and fairytales chapter 5 . 2/17/2009
love it. great piece. keep it up!

Isca chapter 5 . 2/17/2009
The 'dusty lungs' part adds such a chilling tone to the piece.

"She wants to confide in you." I like the sense of hopelessness and helplessness here.
Fizzzeee chapter 2 . 2/9/2009
great poem. It really makes me think how some people respond to me.

I also like your T one. I wanted to put a review on that one but it wouldn't let me. I loved how you used the language to give an image, well atleast to me. :)
Fizzzeee chapter 4 . 2/9/2009
hey would it be okay if i put this on my youtube profile. ill give credit to you. :\
Cake Love chapter 1 . 1/31/2009
This is...powerful.
pixy dust and fairytales chapter 4 . 1/20/2009
I like this. Good job. Strong piece.

deletethisaccountplease9 chapter 4 . 1/20/2009
Oh my... this was just a thing of beauty. I loved the semi-hidden message in the bold (though it took a while to realize that the initial T didnt count lol) That being said I have no idea what this is about lol! I have a general idea, but this isnt as specific as your previous works. I kind of like it to tell the truth, it seems more universally applicable.

Now I realize I never reviewed the last one, so here is one for ch. 3! I absolutely adored how you used science, a mostly controlled area, as a contrast to the chaos involved in fate and human interaction. It was incredibly well done. I quite enjoyed it.

Keep it up! you wonderful poetic genius you! haha!
Isca chapter 4 . 1/20/2009
"Someday, she'll give it to you when you least expect it, and you'll hate her for it." Oh! A line that's just overflowing with angst, frustration, and anxiety. :)
pixy dust and fairytales chapter 3 . 1/10/2009
Great last couple chapters. I really liked them. Keep it up!

Isca chapter 3 . 1/9/2009
"X chromosomes—that which determines femaleness." It's not really the presence of a second X chromosome that determines femaleness, it's the lack of the presence of a Y chromosome. But, I see what you were trying to do, and it was creative, so kudos for that. :)

"You've forced her into believing that you're a cold-hearted bitch." I like the bitter/angsty/frustrated tone here.

Keep up the good work!

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