Reviews for The Bracelet of Kamukata
Decoris Verbum chapter 5 . 1/18/2009
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Hey, I just thought of something: you might want to add the narrator's signature at the bottom of each entry. It -is- a journal, I guess. I liked how this chapter really got the story rolling; the past few were preparing me (reader) for something, I just didn't know what. Good build of plot, there. However, the specific details in this chapter were a problem, because it all went by very quickly and, while I COULD keep up, it wasn't a comfortable pace. Spread things out. Make things dramatic.

Decoris Verbum chapter 4 . 1/18/2009
I loved how you foreshadowed intrigue with the five acres of land she was going to explore; this really made me want to read the next chapter. I also like how specific you are with certain elements, because it makes it sound really authentic. Maybe this was too short. idk.

Decoris Verbum chapter 3 . 1/18/2009
Okay, chappie three. I liked how you gave the girl more character (including her weakness - public speaking), because it DID add more depth to the story. But again, I think you need something to jazz up your story, because having each of these entries as a chapter is a little laborious. Give us more details! We readers are hungry. Detail the scenes of her classes, or interactions with classmates, because it would really lure people into the narrative. Just my two cents.

Decoris Verbum chapter 2 . 1/18/2009
Hm. Another entry that wasn't so thrilling. I would rather have liked to see the first two chapters combined, and maybe even the third - I suppose I will see - because there hasn't been any action yet. I did like how you put a personal twist on things, like her mom working from home and the dolls.

Decoris Verbum chapter 1 . 1/18/2009
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Hm, this is interesting. I liked how you captured the high school atmosphere, because it all seemed really accurate. I would work on adding more meat to the chapter, because the reader didn't get much in this one snippet, and frankly, I wasn't "hooked." Keep writing, though!

cwprincess chapter 1 . 1/11/2009
lovin it so far. can't wait for the next update