Hi Canterro,
I just wanted to tell you that I'm really into this story. The way you write is so amazing and engrossing and so are the charakters ( I love them so much, it's unbelievable). There are only a few books who brought me to staying awake till 4am just because I couldn't stop reading but this one is definitely on of them :)
I think you've got a huge talent and can't wait to read more of your books.
Keep writing and thanks for this amazing story, now I'm sitting in school everyday, waiting for it to and so I can go on reading :D

Ps: fingers crossed, that you get convalesce again!

oh I'm so in love with this story :3

I read through the first few chapters, and though I see you have not been active on the site for some time, I still thought I'd share my thoughts on your story. You wrote about wanting constructive reviews, so why not?
First of all, the blurb/summary is AWFUL. Really, it is. The deliberate vagueness and almost philosophical content gives the impression of the author riding his/her high horse, which just does not fly on this site. Look at it like this: It may work for Brontë, but you're a newbie author publishing an online first draft work. Also, it does not make one want to read the story, since there is nothing in it ABOUT the story. Make it more specific - by saying it's about a new agent struggling with his life no longer in his hands, for example. You won't spoil the story by giving a general idea for readers to know what to expect. Quite the opposite, it will draw in people with that interest.
As for the fic itself:
The prologue is good. It achieved what your blurb did not - piqued my interest. Made me want to know more about the character you wrote about, and his story. It promised a rocky journey and lay the basis for good development.
The writing style is ok. Not bad at all, but not that good either. The first thing I noticed was the excessive use of adverbs. This detracts from the style and is very distracting. You shouldn't need adverbs to make the language colorful, it just gives the impression that the writer did not have his/her own words to describe something, thus resorted to simplifying the matter and changing a semi-fitting word to suit his/her purposes. Not an impression a writer wants to make, right? I'm not saying to not use adverbs at all, but to do so in moderation, when truLY needed. :)
Other than that, the writing is simple and easy to understand, which is good.
Now, the real chapters.
I'm sorry, but you took the wrong root here. The first one was okay, introducing new characters. It still kept my interest. It was only lost by the end of the second. By then it felt more like a documentary than a novel. This is, in part, the fault of the style. You kept telling the readers what was happening, telling us about character traits and settings and about what they were thinking. In other words, the author (you) was always there, almost a part of the story-line, taking the focus off the fiction. This, believe it or not, results in the classical documentary feeling, where one can and will emphasize with the characters, but it's a distant, clinical type of interest. Like 'a friend's friend did something' type of situation. It also makes one aggravated with the details of the story, because while in a novel it would be what makes the whole come alive, in a documentary it just comes across as boring, unnecessary information. I still read a few other chapters, but by then it was too late to enjoy it.
Anyway, these would be the main things you could improve upon, if you still have an interest in writing. It's a good starting point. If you want, you can reply - or curse me to Hell and back, depending on your disposition - here: dezso199 citromail . hu

This is an amazing story, even more remarkable since it appears on a website like fictionpress. I can rarely keep my interest for any book going for this many chapters.

Your earlier author's notes mentioned a desire for reviews, and I see your story has not received many. I would not be so worried, it does not reflect the quality of the writing. I have read (or tried to read) stories with more than hundreds of reviews, stories that nevertheless turned out to be without actual worth. Readers (myself included) are usually too lazy to write a review, or otherwise, simply lacking interesting comments to share with the author.

Since you do seem to want reviews, however, I can try.
The obvious thing to like about this story is that it is free of the usual clichés that abound on fictionpress (and in lots of published and unpublished fiction). You have given your characters kept and complexities which your reveal only in time. You do the same with your plot, which seems cleverly woven throughout your chapters, which is refreshing after reading tons of stories lacking any intrigue to keep the reader going. Many, or most, slash and m/m fiction focuses on the romance alone and features unnecessary smut. So I like how you have writing a story where the romance and eroticism develops naturally and complements the plot.
Finally, you writing style is also interesting. For one thing, there are very few mistakes and you vocabulary is diversified, which complements the way you weave a good narrative. But most of all, you certainly have a knack for writing good, entertaining dialogue, which makes the interactions between Sam and Casey - and all the other characters for that matter - so interesting to follow.

Since this story has not been updated in a while, I suppose it may never get an ending. A pity. But the trek has nothing to be regretted and brought me much enjoyment. Thank you for that. And good luck.

I still check this thing once a week to check if something magical have happened, and you updated. God, I'm addicted . And you are a genius. So sad you never finished the story, it's so beautiful. : (

You write so good. This story is original and really stands out in the masses of slash story writing on this site. It's a real shame you haven't continued it. It's unique, it really is. The action flows well, and the character develop nicely. And I like how deep they are. I'm going to be so sad that my new favorite story will never be finished. But I really think you deserve to know how good this is.

Amazing story, You write so good.

I read your story about an year ago and I returned to see if any updates, but nothing thus far! Even though there are not many reviews, this is an awesome story! If you are still writing for this story, please update for us readers! Thank You

I just...

I love this story so much.

I re-read it all the time. It's so interesting. So real. So intense. I love Casey so much, you don't even know. If I were Sam, dang, I'd be freakin' ecstatic that he could love me. He's so honest & real & amazing!

I can't even speak English, or any language for that matter, right now but essentially what I'm saying is: I REALLY WISH YOU WOULD UPDATE. I MISS SAM & CASEY :'(

Well, now that I'm more alive and coherent... I thought I'd come back to see what I wrote ONLY TO REALIZE THE LAST UPDATE WAS IN 2010.

I'm tearing up now, just so you know (if you even check your reviews or fictionpress anymore). This always happens. I find the most amazing story I've read in years and then it turns that the last update was 3 years ago :'(

Well, this was one year ago but still :( I hope you're planning on updating in the future at all. Cause this story is (obviously) in my favourites and and your story will go to the top of the favourite's list when/if you decide to update. I will most likely be checking for updates regularly because I am procrastinating and have no life.

Come back soon! And I hope you're well and everything. I didn't read any of the author's notes but I did see a review having to do with a visit to the hospital. D: If you are sick...I'd probably feel like a jerk sitting here demanding updates. So hopefully, you're well and just out there enjoying life! :)

PS, I lied when I said this review was going to be more coherent. :D

wow. i have nothing coherent to say at this time, to be honest. i'm just so so happy to have come across this. i have been looking & looking for a stimulating slash story for quite a while. & action? IS MY LIFE. so basically, i love you. i've been reading this non-stop. no breaks. & ugh, this is perfection.

can't wait to read more!

Hum, hum, hum. Hum.

Well. I got this far, at the very least. D

At times, it was all very confusing. I felt that a lot of things were implied or inferred through the text that the reader had to actually catch, or get lost in the dust with. I also get the impression that it's not a good idea to read a story with such an advanced, complicated plot while tired and unable to understand anything more complex than normal conversation.

So. We're both messed up?

But anyway - I both like and dislike the story. There are times when I can empathize with the characters so that it seems like they're real people, and there are times when it's blown up so far outside of my own experience that I have no idea what's being talked about or emoted through the characters. And I find that fascinating.

I love the depth you have the characters depicted in, and how each one is their own person - no two character have the same personality type. I also hate how they seem so shallow in my mind. It seems like they're two-dimensional to me; like I'm looking at a fence from a distance. I can see through it, but I don't see it clearly for what it is.

That kind of feeling, if you understand.

I also believe this to be somewhat of an intentional effect.

Or maybe your writing and my reading preferences just aren't matching up enough for me to see the characters the same way you do and bring them to life.

I think you could do to have a little bit more physical descriptions in your story, because it oftentimes gets very confusing when you change perspectives, scenes or have dialogue. When it's just standard talking in quotes, it's fine, but when you have bits of information in between, it gets confusing.

The description you put into the way the characters think and feel is great - I love it because it's so clear, and I can imagine myself thinking a lot of these things.

I also noticed that you tend to ignore linebreaks and giving the readers warning when you're moving from scene to scene and changing perspective. Quite a few times, I've had to doubletake and go back a couple paragraphs to figure out where it stopped being Casey or whoever you were favouring in that scene and when it became someone else's life we were following for a time. Please indicate? A line break or a couple of dots or something to indicate that something's happening would be MUCH appreciated.

I think my favourite scene is probably the one with the priest and Sam because it's so unorthodox and cliche at the same time, without seeming unorthodox and cliche.

And I think that's about all I have to say. Good job so far! I fully intend to follow this story through.

(By the way, your English is really, really good!)

Thanks for the read!

29 chapters in a day... My personal record I think and I was supposed to be studying...:( Anyway, to sum it up. Your story is full of win. I loved it, all of it, the plot, the characters, your writing style. I think Casey is my favourite but I can't help but love Sam too (more than I should actually) 'cause I have a thing for 'bad guys'.(Well, it's official!)But... I think what I love most is the pairing! Their relationship is so wrong that it's right, I love it when one moment they get intimate and the next they are on work mode as rivals and I don't even know what I'm saying anymore 'cause I read 29 chapters in a day and I still want more! So please update soon, okay? Plz!

Hi! I enjoyed this story and the sexual suspense so much I read this story through all of today. I got impatient a few times when the story would include a section about other ppl, but i get that that adds some further dimension. I can't wait for more! And I'm sorry to hear that you were sick. I hope everything is okay now.

First question: How did I not find this earlier?

Second question: Why isn't this getting more reviews?