oh my god this is amazing. i'm consistently blown away by your work and this is the first time i'm reviewing one of your poem since joining this site and i'm so glad it's this one because i love the imagery and the rhythm and basically everything.

I'm so glad I found this. This is beautiful.

"I want to be an unapologetic mess by day
and a hardened know it all by night."

Exactly what I've been feeling lately, I didn't even realize until I read that.

:0

I lost myself in the beautiful language and had to start over because I was floating on the words and not the meanings.

The meanings hit me hard, so gimme a second. Wow. This is great. I'm kinda speechless here... So yeah.

Fave line:
"stronger than the miles of bones
that make up my awkward shape
when I fell into your full speech"

This is absolutely fabulous. I adore the varying language, and it flows so well I read it out loud to revel in its ability to roll off my tongue without any kind of force whatsoever. The imagery is flawless and the meaning is clearly conveyed. I loved the repeat of what kind of poem this isn't at the end, as it brings the whole thing to a head almost. Great conclusion as well. Brilliant job! :D

Wow. This was beautiful. I loved the imagery and the repetition of what kind of poem it was and was not. The last line was wonderful too.

I am so far behind with your work, I scrolled down and up a few times without looking and picked the first I'd not read! And this one just seems so EASY to relate to, I could barely believe it.

This is such a different style from when I very first read your work, Christmas 2004 not long after I joined. It has a more...advanced...structure (does that sound rude? I mean it politely) but you still keep the same, demanding narration regardless. You have a very noticeable voice in everything you write, and it struck me more than ever in this piece.

I think poetry, or any written word(s) with some thought behind them can perform just as well as conversation, but only if both of you have a mutual understanding, a similar comprehension. Which, let's face it, with poetry especially is rare. So conversation is more easy & open, and silence of some things is necessary.

I like how you emphasise that this poem is not anything specific, just a written voice that can talk about many things without genre-lising itself (is that a word? it kinda fits).

"I want to be an unapologetic mess by day

and a hardened know it all by night"

(I am nodding in agreement when I read this, it is exactly how I felt this past week)

Jack

There is so much in this

I think I could read it 50 times and still have something new to ponder each time

Beatiful, cryptic and honest.

"and this is not a love poem"

reminds me of song beneath the song

by maria taylor.

and everything short of in-between

of words reminds me of silence

i like the way you let it ring

and cut it off.

delightful insight.

Oh, I love this. I love all the descriptions of what kind of poem it wasn't, how that was exactly what it really was, but doing away with the idea of labeling a poem as such. Lovely. I really liked this line: "Stronger than the miles of bones/that make up my awkward shape/when I fell into your full speech." That is so gorgeous. Really fantastic work here. Keep writing! :)

I love the vivid descriptions and the way in which you played with the words to make new 'catch' phrases. Really enjoyed this piece. Very inspiring.

Ayx

I think I first read your poetry... years ago? I'm not sure how I found you but you wrote quite a lot and it wasn't hard. point is, at the time, I was floored. I dont remember which ones I read or anything, but that's.. yeah.

but here's the thing, I saw your name again today and I haven't forgotten your writing, yeah? you made an impression on me, even then.

so this poem... it's amazing. I love that you actually use your words. they have this rhythm and rhyme and I'm not talking about the forced crap some people put at the ends of lines- I mean that your wordplay is powerful and when I read your work I feel 16 all over again like I'm reading your stuff for the first time or something ridiculous like that. but less madonna lyrics ish.

and I'm really sorry that this is all rambly and maudlin but its like 3 AM. eep. should not be up.

i want to go back in and stick in punctuation marks into this review but I'm falling asleep like as I sit here.

okay um trying again: it sounds beautiful. the words just roll. the thoughts behind it are awesome too.

there, that was lucid, right? :) sorry!

I'll just start off with saying, this is not what I thought it was going to be of by the title.

You surprise me every time. :)

"You hurt me, but I needed it.

You have a terrible starvation, and I feed it."

That struck me.

"Politeness is a pity when pen and paper beckon"

Oh my. !

There's nothing more to say other than I freaking loveed this poem.

In all honesty, I can say, This IS my favoirte poem i have ever read.

It's deep, and complete, bitter honest.

It's hard to come across stuff like this.

You're talented.

"I let them take the shape of silence." Beautiful!

I'm so glad that you're still writing. I love seeing an update from you in my inbox.

This poem is beautiful, wonderful. It's so deeply personal - the lines "A portrait of my thoughts/for you to look upon and understand" seemed to fit perfectly in this poem, yet don't really seem to fully happen. This poem seems to be, as you put it, a declaration, yet it's not something that most anyone will fully understand when they read it. It's yours, and yours alone. I want to read this poem over and over again until it can fully sink in to me, and become a part of me.

One thing that I noticed when reading it is that you use "then" a couple times when I believe "than" might have been more appropriate.

Tin

First of all, it's great to see you're still writing, and you're only getting better.

I found myself really relating to this poem. What else can I say but the phrasing was wonderful, and the poem as a whole was a delight to read. It was deep but easy to read. I adore it.

Peace, Daze