|Reviews for Cause and Effect|
| MethodlessMadness chapter 1 . 6/3/2014
I lost myself in the beautiful language and had to start over because I was floating on the words and not the meanings.
The meanings hit me hard, so gimme a second. Wow. This is great. I'm kinda speechless here... So yeah.
"stronger than the miles of bones
that make up my awkward shape
when I fell into your full speech"
| TheGlycoprotein chapter 1 . 9/4/2013
This is absolutely fabulous. I adore the varying language, and it flows so well I read it out loud to revel in its ability to roll off my tongue without any kind of force whatsoever. The imagery is flawless and the meaning is clearly conveyed. I loved the repeat of what kind of poem this isn't at the end, as it brings the whole thing to a head almost. Great conclusion as well. Brilliant job! :D
| electrical moon chapter 1 . 1/4/2012
Wow. This was beautiful. I loved the imagery and the repetition of what kind of poem it was and was not. The last line was wonderful too.
| in theory chapter 1 . 8/22/2009
I am so far behind with your work, I scrolled down and up a few times without looking and picked the first I'd not read! And this one just seems so EASY to relate to, I could barely believe it.
This is such a different style from when I very first read your work, Christmas 2004 not long after I joined. It has a more...advanced...structure (does that sound rude? I mean it politely) but you still keep the same, demanding narration regardless. You have a very noticeable voice in everything you write, and it struck me more than ever in this piece.
I think poetry, or any written word(s) with some thought behind them can perform just as well as conversation, but only if both of you have a mutual understanding, a similar comprehension. Which, let's face it, with poetry especially is rare. So conversation is more easy & open, and silence of some things is necessary.
I like how you emphasise that this poem is not anything specific, just a written voice that can talk about many things without genre-lising itself (is that a word? it kinda fits).
"I want to be an unapologetic mess by day
and a hardened know it all by night"
(I am nodding in agreement when I read this, it is exactly how I felt this past week)
| Sadira chapter 1 . 3/9/2009
There is so much in this
I think I could read it 50 times and still have something new to ponder each time
Beatiful, cryptic and honest.
| Eve's Deception chapter 1 . 1/27/2009
"and this is not a love poem"
reminds me of song beneath the song
by maria taylor.
and everything short of in-between
of words reminds me of silence
i like the way you let it ring
and cut it off.
| no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 1/24/2009
Oh, I love this. I love all the descriptions of what kind of poem it wasn't, how that was exactly what it really was, but doing away with the idea of labeling a poem as such. Lovely. I really liked this line: "Stronger than the miles of bones/that make up my awkward shape/when I fell into your full speech." That is so gorgeous. Really fantastic work here. Keep writing! :)
| Ayx chapter 1 . 1/15/2009
I love the vivid descriptions and the way in which you played with the words to make new 'catch' phrases. Really enjoyed this piece. Very inspiring.
| Written chapter 1 . 1/15/2009
I think I first read your poetry... years ago? I'm not sure how I found you but you wrote quite a lot and it wasn't hard. point is, at the time, I was floored. I dont remember which ones I read or anything, but that's.. yeah.
but here's the thing, I saw your name again today and I haven't forgotten your writing, yeah? you made an impression on me, even then.
so this poem... it's amazing. I love that you actually use your words. they have this rhythm and rhyme and I'm not talking about the forced crap some people put at the ends of lines- I mean that your wordplay is powerful and when I read your work I feel 16 all over again like I'm reading your stuff for the first time or something ridiculous like that. but less madonna lyrics ish.
and I'm really sorry that this is all rambly and maudlin but its like 3 AM. eep. should not be up.
i want to go back in and stick in punctuation marks into this review but I'm falling asleep like as I sit here.
okay um trying again: it sounds beautiful. the words just roll. the thoughts behind it are awesome too.
there, that was lucid, right? :) sorry!
| softersin chapter 1 . 1/12/2009
I'll just start off with saying, this is not what I thought it was going to be of by the title.
You surprise me every time. :)
"You hurt me, but I needed it.
You have a terrible starvation, and I feed it."
That struck me.
"Politeness is a pity when pen and paper beckon"
Oh my. !
There's nothing more to say other than I freaking loveed this poem.
In all honesty, I can say, This IS my favoirte poem i have ever read.
It's deep, and complete, bitter honest.
It's hard to come across stuff like this.
| Isca chapter 1 . 1/12/2009
"I let them take the shape of silence." Beautiful!
| TinuvielDork chapter 1 . 1/12/2009
I'm so glad that you're still writing. I love seeing an update from you in my inbox.
This poem is beautiful, wonderful. It's so deeply personal - the lines "A portrait of my thoughts/for you to look upon and understand" seemed to fit perfectly in this poem, yet don't really seem to fully happen. This poem seems to be, as you put it, a declaration, yet it's not something that most anyone will fully understand when they read it. It's yours, and yours alone. I want to read this poem over and over again until it can fully sink in to me, and become a part of me.
One thing that I noticed when reading it is that you use "then" a couple times when I believe "than" might have been more appropriate.
| MallowsWins chapter 1 . 1/12/2009
First of all, it's great to see you're still writing, and you're only getting better.
I found myself really relating to this poem. What else can I say but the phrasing was wonderful, and the poem as a whole was a delight to read. It was deep but easy to read. I adore it.
| Julius Gillian chapter 1 . 1/11/2009
I was bullied because I was silent, polite, mild, timid, taciturn, patient, estranged from groups. Everything my parents beat into me so I wouldn't turn out like them. Now I write to work and I don't work to write.
And for what, exactly?
All the luxuries I read in this poem are foreign to me, but they make alot of sense. Today I was at the playground again, I blankly watched the children play on the jungle gym. I sort of got the idea of fun, but I don't really remember it.
| FlowingPurpleInk chapter 1 . 1/11/2009
wow, really good job. I espically like the line
"It’s not an I hope you die in a catastrophic freak accident poem,
or I wish I had said the right things to you at the right time poem,"