Reviews for Transience of Life
UrbanHoneyPioneer chapter 5 . 7/24/2009
I like this. I think it would flow better without the verse separation, but that's just me. Also, if you replaced "Yet *basically* the same" with... a different word. Quite the same, or ... I don't know, that word just doesn't seem to fit the rest of hte poem's flow.

Good overall though! I liked it.

Mara
Kristina Suko chapter 4 . 7/14/2009
This is beautiful. I hate thunderstorms, but I love this portrayal of the power of a storm.

Mara
Kristina Suko chapter 3 . 7/14/2009
Is this possibly talking about death, or birth? Either way it is interesting. I would suggest perhaps removing a few of the abrupt sentence endings, turning it into a comma or a semicolon; that would create a bit more flow, so the eye is not halted every line by a period. Other than that, it's good.

Mara
Kristina Suko chapter 2 . 7/14/2009
This is a bit choppy, but I like how it's kind of a pondering of the two faces of the earth.

Mara
Kristina Suko chapter 1 . 7/14/2009
I love this. It's thought-provoking, and somewhat sad at the end. And the format works, because it brings attention more to the questions and the thought behind it.

Mara
Erlkoenigin chapter 4 . 7/13/2009
Gefällt mir sehr gut, vor allem die letzte Zeile. Ich warte auf ein Update deiner Fantasy-Geschichte!

LG Franziska
Erlkoenigin chapter 3 . 3/31/2009
Sehr schön, wie du den Kreislauf von Werden und Vergehen schilderst. Das postive Ene passt gut zum Frühling, der ja nun hoffentlich endlich beginnt.
Erlkoenigin chapter 2 . 3/24/2009
Sehr schön.

How devastating nature’s beauty is,

How insignificant a human upon its kiss.

das könnte man sich gerahmt über das Bett hängen.

Thumps up!
Erlkoenigin chapter 1 . 3/24/2009
Ja, jetzt finde ich es, bin aber mitten in der Nacht außerstande Englisch zu posten.

Das gedicht gefällt mir sehr gut, vor allem der Beton und das "how it used to be"

Woher kannst du so gut englisch?
dragonflydreamer chapter 1 . 1/18/2009
I love the contrast you created in this because it really accentuates the meaning of your words. You built up the beautu of nature, then destroyed it in a similar fashion to what you're suggestion humanity will do.

I also like how it was all phrased as a question because it addresses the reader personally, and almost directs te blame on them, making them part of the problem and not just a bystander.

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