omg i loved your story i realy hope you write a sequel

I enjoyed the ending. Not too sappy, and pretty realistic. I'll admit that I am hoping for a sequel. Lovely story.

i loved it! :DD

there's gonna be a sequel right?

i beg you, please :]]

This story is... amazing. To be serious, yes I've read better and yes, I've read worse. But on fictionpress, wow. This story is awesome.

There are a couple of things that are a little confusing. Your dialogue for example is a little hard to follow. The whole 'new paragraph for new speaker' thing doesn't always happen. It's a little confusing to figure out who's speaking sometimes. Obviously there's a few spelling and grammar mistakes and awkwardness but that's to be expected. I can't think of any other bad things at the moment.

So then on to the good!

When I started reading this I felt it was a little awkward and a little childish. Ant's attitude for a while is really immature and seemed like an ignorant and self-obsessed POV, and the whole 'fake girlfriend' seemed a little corny but it actually ended up growing really nicely. It progressed without being the entire plot-line of the story but at the same time giving the main characters a reason to be in each other's company. The same with the article, it could've been full of ridiculous drama but it wasn't. It flowed really nicely.

The relationship as well was great. You managed to make the tension and the pain and fear of separation palpable. Best example: The day Dorian has to leave and they put off getting out of bed and leaving the house, and the holding hands while they're driving. Maybe it's because I've experienced something like that but at the same time, I think the underlying description would affect anyone. That's something that I've always thought I was lacking from my own writing, so I liked the fact that you accomplished it a lot.

I think that's the biggest achievement of the story. That and the attitudes and thoughts of the characters. You weave them together even though they might be minor (like Kim) or big parts of the story (Ant). The connection that I had to the characters was the best thing. It's really impressive.

So I guess, in general -compared to the minor amount of cons and huge amounts of pros- I really really enjoyed this story.

I mean, I even added it to my favourites list and I'll probably read it again... with a bowl of ice cream in my lap.

Thank you for writing such a respectable piece of literature!

o i loved this. and i demand a sequel! can i demand that?

omg just finished and i absolutley love. wow. the way you ended was so amazing. now all i want is a sequel :D haha. congrats on finishing and it was an excellent story.

I just wanted to let you know that your story is absolutely fabulous. I love how its about the Marine Core and how it incorporates both political points of view. As the sister of a Marine the description of the Marine in this story was so accurate. They are all cocky mother fuckers! This story was a great portrayal of a lot of what the military stands for including the reason a lot of the guys join.

Semper Fi!

Epilogue?

PLEASE?

He can come back. And this time, quit military legitimately, get a job based in defence (which will still be true to hs ideals) and he and Ant can live happily ever after.

But they have to have kids. Because there was a moment there with Kim's baby and you've left that hanging and unfinished.

And besides, Ant is certainly not getting any younger. And we have no idea how her writing career about the things she loves played out either.

So yeah.

Epilogue with marriage, kids, stable jobs and HEA is in order I think.

Do it for a fellow Australian.

That was THE most perfect ending to a story I have ever read. No joke. I absolutely loved it. It is a shame that I only found this story with a couple of chapters left, but I am glad I could read most of it in one shot. I loved it!

Wow! I have to say, this story is very unique and I love everything about it. The conversations between Ant and Dorian were fantastic- you have a knack for arguing both sides with equal enthusiasm. Touché, on all of you points. I can’t believe it’s over! Is this really the last we’ll see of them? :( Although…the ending was perfect…completely characteristic of their relationship. I guess I’m just obsessive. :)

I'm sad to see the story end, and in that regard thought that the ending was bittersweet. Yay that Dorian gave Ant his dog tags, but still sad that he's leaving her for so long. I definitely am in favor of an epilogue with Dorian's return to Ant, or years later with them together for years. : ) you do have a few spelling errors, I just noticed one: Ant raised a brow sceptically. “Oh yeah, what’s that?” It should be skeptically.

hahahaha, i love the ending.

It fit and honestly, I think that was the only way to end it.

Thanks for the consistent updates!

Love your story!

haha-"that presumptuous ass." lol. I loved it-truly and fully loved it. Great Job-really. Great ending, and though I hate that it's over, you did a great job. Thank you.

I SO think you should write a sequel. Everything was left to hang open and a sequel could be like what happens in the future with Ant and Dorian.

Really-great job.

I loved the ending! This was a great story:). Good Job!

I don't mind your ending, in fact I think it was perfect. However, my insatiable curiosty has led me to ask whether there will be an epilogue?