Wow, by the first sentence, you seemed to have captivated me. :) I think I have fallen in love with "Star" even though it is just the first chapter.

I'm terribly sad that this beautiful story has been removed, and that I had not discovered it sooner.

I want to be terribly selfish and ask you if there was a way to read the rest of this, but I'm most likely not going to get a response.

Please keep your promise about the publishing! ;D This story most certainly has promise!

Where'd the rest go? Please tell me that you're being all anal about making it "perfect" and you're going to put the whole thing right back up? Come on! One chapter is just a tease! You're not that kind of girl...er...chicken...er...author...are you? Don't let me down, girl. Bring the story back! BTW, I FINALLY updated "Consequences." Ha! Beat you to the update. Tag, you're it.

SaraBella

Oh wow, I hadn't known u took this down but I'm happy to know you want to publish it! I'd wana go buy that story -, I'm still a big fan of Mike! Good Luck my friend D.

First of all, welcome to my C2, Phantasms of the Preternatural. I truly enjoy this story, and hope you write more.

Howdy. After your very helpful, flattering and generally lovely reviews of my story, I thought I'd wander on over and repay the favor. (: I must say, I really like it. I thought it was a good first chapter that didn't wonder or data dump and kept my interest until the end. I like Star's character (of course I do), and the dark sadness to him is very intriguing.

NOW. Just a minor critique. I think you have a good story here, a nice solid skeleton that maybe needs just a touch of polish. The advice I'll give to you is the old adage given to all writers: Use less adjectives.

A few examples, just from your beginning section:

"My eyes cascaded over the ancient playground..." - cascaded is too big an adjective, it's too much, it ends up distracting from your flow which (even for .3 seconds), pulls the reader out.

"A soothing summer breeze brushed over my skin, and I relished the tender sensation" Do you NEED soothing and tender?

"Mom’s voice chime like a crystalline bell through my somber thoughts" - do I need to say anything?

But... my opinions are just my own, and it's not like I'm any great writer to be listening to anyway. Oh! And I almost forgot, I love the sentence fragments. It has a certain style to it that's all your own, and I like it. (:

I'm almost reluctant to keep reading, since I know it's on hiatus, and I don't want to like it too much.

Loved it! Really interesting plot line, update soon!

Keep Writing,

xxTunstall Chickxx

great update! i really wanted some more raven, but this chapter is very good and descriptive..

whatever has happened to harper, she probably deserves! okay, maybe not... but i realy dont like her!

cant wait till the next one!

.God. This chapter actually made me cry at the beginning. Well I guess it didn't really help that I was listening to a sad song when I was reading, but either way, I cried. Amazing Chapter! Have fun on your vacation! D

This is wonderful

I have warm tea, my boyfriend on the phone, and curled up with Defiance. Best. Thing. Ever.

Really love the changes between the old nightmare and this one. Very abstract, very painted. I almost see it in black and white and red. Its so cool.

"heartbreaking tinge of crimson" beautiful line.

LOL, you used incarnadine. xD I love the way you did, too.

Awh. Star Angel. Yay! Angels are love. I want to meet one, with wings and all. I would just sit there and pet them.

But hey, I'm crazy.

First time she hears his voice; AWH. How adorable.

He's bleeding. Oh god! D: No, don't bleed Star, you're an Angel. Angels. Don't. Bleed! *Sniff* THEY'RE ANGELS.

And I think Lyn needs to lay off the weed. Srsli, freaky dreams, man.

And now she's being stalked. AGAIN. Oh crap! Seriously Lyn. Look into restraining orders, they might help. A lot. Lol.

...

...

GFDJHKFDKFDJGKALHGAD OH MY GOD OPPO. OMGOPPO! OPPO! OPPO! OPPO! I OFFICIALY LOVE YOU NOW. OPPO! D You brought Oppo back! Yay! (I need to get me one.)

You really do love KsE. Sheesh. Converse! Oh yeah! Converse Are LOVE! I have some green and white ones. They're too cool.

OOH OHH. WILDE. OHMIGAWD. YAMAHA. YES! *Makes a string of one-word sentences that make little to no sense* Oh man, he's even got the sexy biker jacket. And its two of my favorite colors. Oh yeah! Mm. She didn't! Starin' at Wilde. *Gasp* Ouh, She'll get it. Hurry off to Raven, now *shoos her* Wilde has been claimed and staked.

Lol, Poor Wilde.

Awh, and he's a big kitty-cat teddy-bear. So sweet.

SHE BETTER NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM. OUH DAMN.

I would probably have to rape him if I saw hik sprawled there all sexy-like on the couch. Hm.

And of course, he would scare the living hell out of Lyn. Of course.

Yuck, bagles

NO. NO ITS NOT POSSIBLE. WILDE MINE. GOT IT?

No kill-y Cyril, Wilde. C'mon now. Your sister's a whore, why do you care... Forget I said that. You care 'cause you're awesome, that's why.

Mm, adored the all-Wilde chapter. Wonderful.

Have an awesome vacation!

Snow

Awesome, this is really intriguing!

XD

If you don't update before you go away, have a good vacation...

D

As usual, I couldn't review logged in, but it's still me.

I definitely like Wilde! He's great and seems to have some depth to him, so you did a great job writing him! I overall loved this chapter, and I can't wait for the next one!

Have fun on vacation!

I am really enjoying this story.

Your descriptions are really beautiful - they just leap off the page. Gorgeous.

I got the feeling when I was reading that I could imagine this as the storyboard for a manga. Its got that really vivid feel to it.

I shall definitely be looking out for any future updates. Not least because this story has its fair share of beautiful boys. I can't decide who is my favourite! :)

Keep up the good work!

Gem

Good chapter!

Aww she lost Oppo!

m I like this chapter! :) I love animals, so I'd have to say Rallos too, though he hasn't been mentioned yet... lol. Have fun on your trip and keep writing! :P

- Christina

I loved it, I am very interested in Wilde, and of course Raven now... since your rewriting the chapters I GUESS I REALLY DONT KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT, but can't wait for the next update...