|Reviews for I Rose|
| Narq chapter 1 . 1/23/2009
I like the metaphors, but I don't get it, do you or do you not lie in religion? You say, I rose out of religion to think for myself how I view the world (and God) But if you rose out of religion, you wouldn't belive in god... would you?
Oh well, just my own opinion.
| rust phoenix chapter 1 . 1/22/2009
I really like the idea behind this, and I can tell you believe in what you are saying. I agree that church state disaster. I think it might help to add in some punctuation and rework some confusing lines. 'what has rose about us' would probably sound better as 'what has risen about us' and when you wrote 'And we will never rise about it.' that kind of seems to contradict the rest of the poem. I like the recurring metaphor of rising, it really holds the piece together.