|Reviews for what's inside?|
| Alien Altered chapter 5 . 3/23/2009
Adorable. Such a fabulous idea! I can't wait for more!
| fairytale failure chapter 5 . 2/6/2009
I like these. You develop the characters and stories really well using only the contents of their bags.
| all you need is oxygen chapter 1 . 1/28/2009
i like these.
they give each person personality and an attitude, without even going into what their name is or where they live or what they enjoy doing.
| Isca chapter 4 . 1/22/2009
"The pieces of me that know this is wrong." A girl on the road to an eating disorder :(
"Imminent death." So sad!
| Isca chapter 3 . 1/22/2009
"Ripped condoms." Striking imagery!
"My dignity." A WONDERFUL way to end this chapter! :D
| Isca chapter 2 . 1/22/2009
"A pride bracelet." Short, simple writing, and yet I love how much it conveys to the reader about the speaker's life! Keep up the good work! :)
| tangerine dreamer chapter 5 . 1/22/2009
i absolutely love these. the one that sticks out to me the most is the escort one. i love the last line, "my dignity: well, i need to keep it somewhere..."
i'm glad you continued this. keep up the great work!
| rust phoenix chapter 5 . 1/21/2009
I'm glad you continued. I love how your narrators have such a variety of voices. This one and the first one are probably my favorites, but I liked them all.
Also: you have amazing skill at titling the pieces. I'm not as sure about the collection title - it's good, but it doesn't have the same originality.
| softersin chapter 1 . 1/21/2009
this spoke to me.
| Flies chapter 1 . 1/20/2009
Phew, I haven't been here in a long time, but I was sure glad to read this, it was wonderful! I like the concept, and the execution was very well done. I really felt you achieved a purpose with this piece, and I do hope to see more of this sort of style and manner in the future.
| tangerine dreamer chapter 1 . 1/20/2009
i love the way you've written this. it's so interesting and descriptive, and yet somehow personal. i could see you making a series out of this if you keep writing in this style.
keep it up!
| Isca chapter 1 . 1/20/2009
This is incredibly creative! It's philosophical, and that's saying a lot since the topic is the inside of a bag. You should definitely continue this!
"I'd like to document your existence." PHENOMENAL! :D :D :D
| Xerophyte chapter 1 . 1/20/2009
I like the beginning of this poem a lot, but where it really hits me is the line "to let myself in when you ask me back." From then on, this poem goes from excellent to brilliant. I love the last line, especially. Beautiful work. I cannot think of anything for a critique.
| JackInk chapter 1 . 1/20/2009
That was very nice, it sounded great. However grammatically, it should be changed. How's this.
10 numbers to names i don’t remember,
and a cell phone from 19 to call them with.
a 50 in a hidden pocket,
and ripped bus passeslong expired.
a disposable camera in case this goes my way:
i’d like to document your existence.
there’s a packet of tissues to wipe the tears for when you say goodbye,
and the key from under your mat to let myself in when you ask me to come back.
a flask of gin to wash your memory from my mind,
and a frayed pink letter to bring it back.
a little broken ipod and piece of my soul,
wrapped neatly in parchment paper.
| rust phoenix chapter 1 . 1/20/2009
this is one of your best pieces. i really like the flow, and i can tell the words have a lot of thought put into them, and the meaning comes across strongly. i like the look of it too, all the numbers. it's interesting. i think some of the words starting off lines could be a bit more original - you might want to move words like 'and' or 'a' up to the end of the line before.