Reviews for what's inside? |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Adorable. Such a fabulous idea! I can't wait for more! |
![]() ![]() ![]() I like these. You develop the characters and stories really well using only the contents of their bags. |
![]() ![]() ![]() i like these. they give each person personality and an attitude, without even going into what their name is or where they live or what they enjoy doing. |
![]() ![]() ![]() "The pieces of me that know this is wrong." A girl on the road to an eating disorder :( "Imminent death." So sad! |
![]() ![]() ![]() "Ripped condoms." Striking imagery! "My dignity." A WONDERFUL way to end this chapter! :D |
![]() ![]() ![]() "A pride bracelet." Short, simple writing, and yet I love how much it conveys to the reader about the speaker's life! Keep up the good work! :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() i absolutely love these. the one that sticks out to me the most is the escort one. i love the last line, "my dignity: well, i need to keep it somewhere..." i'm glad you continued this. keep up the great work! |
![]() ![]() ![]() I'm glad you continued. I love how your narrators have such a variety of voices. This one and the first one are probably my favorites, but I liked them all. Also: you have amazing skill at titling the pieces. I'm not as sure about the collection title - it's good, but it doesn't have the same originality. |
![]() ![]() ![]() wow. this spoke to me. definietley subscribing! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Phew, I haven't been here in a long time, but I was sure glad to read this, it was wonderful! I like the concept, and the execution was very well done. I really felt you achieved a purpose with this piece, and I do hope to see more of this sort of style and manner in the future. |
![]() ![]() ![]() i love the way you've written this. it's so interesting and descriptive, and yet somehow personal. i could see you making a series out of this if you keep writing in this style. keep it up! |
![]() ![]() ![]() This is incredibly creative! It's philosophical, and that's saying a lot since the topic is the inside of a bag. You should definitely continue this! "I'd like to document your existence." PHENOMENAL! :D :D :D |
![]() ![]() ![]() I like the beginning of this poem a lot, but where it really hits me is the line "to let myself in when you ask me back." From then on, this poem goes from excellent to brilliant. I love the last line, especially. Beautiful work. I cannot think of anything for a critique. |
![]() ![]() ![]() That was very nice, it sounded great. However grammatically, it should be changed. How's this. 10 numbers to names i don’t remember, and a cell phone from 19 to call them with. a 50 in a hidden pocket, and ripped bus passeslong expired. a disposable camera in case this goes my way: i’d like to document your existence. there’s a packet of tissues to wipe the tears for when you say goodbye, and the key from under your mat to let myself in when you ask me to come back. a flask of gin to wash your memory from my mind, and a frayed pink letter to bring it back. a little broken ipod and piece of my soul, wrapped neatly in parchment paper. |
![]() ![]() ![]() this is one of your best pieces. i really like the flow, and i can tell the words have a lot of thought put into them, and the meaning comes across strongly. i like the look of it too, all the numbers. it's interesting. i think some of the words starting off lines could be a bit more original - you might want to move words like 'and' or 'a' up to the end of the line before. |