|Reviews for Crescent Moon|
| wafflefriesofgod chapter 15 . 9/5/2011
I think you're an amazing writer and you have loads of potential, but honestly this story wasn't the best. The ending just fell flat, I mean don't get me wrong you swung a different way entirely by having her choose neither yes or no, but it was very anticlimactic. I've been following this story for awhile now (long time) and I'm not slamming you down or hating on the story because it was GOOD. But it could've been better. I like that you included the relationship of a friend, Eclipse, but the way you went about doing it was a little juvenile. A lot of writers tend to do the same thing, where they focus on silly and childlike friendships and while I understand you were trying to make the character fun and quirky it could have been done in a better way. I loved the male lead, however he could have been a bit stronger of a character, but I understand that because it's rated: T you can't really pass a certain line. Do you have a beta reader? It says on your profile that you hope to get a writing degree and a beta reader that reads and edits the story before you post the chapter to the public would be a HUGE help for your stories. It would give you the opportunity to learn how to edit them on your own and to know what should be added and what shouldn't. As for this story, had you upped the maturity of the characters slightly, perhaps made them a little more serious I feel the story overall would have benefitted greatly. For instance, the very first chapter my first response was: spaztic characters. For most of Eclipse and Aisling's interactions I either had no idea what was going on, and when I did understand what was going on it was like they were on some sugar high trip, making them all over the place. Your chapters tended to be very short and lacking real substance between them all, mostly filler chapters without anything truly exciting going on. The first author on here that comes to mind is Jennyt82. She rights in the supernatural genre such as you, and despite most of her works being rated M is very similar to your story. For instance this is her first sentence for A Wolf's Pride:
It had been several months since his brother had found and claimed his mate and Ryan found that he was suffering as a result of the aftermath. His mother had given birth to twin girls not too long ago, naming them Vivian and Sophia, and while she adored his little sisters as much as he did, after their birth she had turned her attention to her last single son. Her incessant demands for him to claim a mate were heaped upon the demands of his wolf, giving him continental sized headaches. He wanted a mate just as much as his mother and his wolf did. More so even, the combined mating scents of his brother and his cousin were driving him insane. It was more than any wolf could be asked to withstand. And that was the reason why he was here, within the halls of another clan, dressed in his best yet again as he continued his search for a mate. He tugged on his suit's tie feeling uncomfortable in the formal attire but he wanted to appear his best, to show his mate that he could provide and protect her.
It's serious, it sucks you in and has loads of substance. I would recommend looking around the site at people that have a high number of reviews because those are the writers that have mature and powerful skills with writing and I totally feel like you are a tremendous writer, but you just need a little help to get there. Your stories are truly good, but they could be so much better. Your characters are just barely scraping the surface of what they could be. I really hope you don't get angry over this, because you say you accept constructive criticism and this is it. I'm not bashing you or flaming on your story because I liked it, I'm just saying you could be a far better writer. If you want to talk to me about this and get a better idea of what I'm trying to say, help with your writing, or straight up rage at me go ahead and PM me and we can exchange emails or something. I hope you have a great day!
| dreamercrys chapter 14 . 4/27/2010
Love it! Can't wait for more! :D
| ChristianAngel01 chapter 13 . 3/17/2010
yea! I am soo happy that she is alive! love the odd friendship!
| J.L. Lofthouse chapter 3 . 3/15/2010
hey looking good so far but what is with all the underlining in this chapter? :)
| Lillian Elaine Blacke chapter 13 . 3/14/2010
TO LAAZZYY TTOO LOOG IIN
Love this chapter! Igot out of the shower and saw and update and I threw my stupid math and the floor and read! Two more chapters to go!
| ChristianAngel01 chapter 14 . 3/14/2010
whoa I really did miss this to tell you the truth I completely forgot about this story I hope you do not take long to update again..ohh great capter!
ohh I can not believe they knew they truth boy i could half kill them and boy aisling could really fight lol
| Lillian Elaine Black chapter 10 . 2/23/2010
hey conaire's fangirl (the original) here, and since the site wouldn't let me review on chapter 12, im reviewing here. PLEASE update! I love this story so much. SO much. and i miss conaire and eclipse and aisling (even though yes, she's with conaire, ugh) and the whole rest of them and i have to see what happens!
| Kit chapter 12 . 2/6/2010
Love teh story! write a new chapter soon
| Lillian Elaine Black chapter 12 . 12/23/2009
WHOA intense... i didn't even look for conaire's last name i just wanted to find out what happened! like i said... intense... i can't wait for the next chapter so don't test my limited (very limited im like adhd i think) patience... awesome chapter!
| ChristianAngel01 chapter 12 . 12/23/2009
whoa this is intense I cant believe he has all of those siblings that wants to hurt him and conaire did what kill a twin? man i want to know the story behind that
| MarloCarlo10 chapter 12 . 12/22/2009
O another twisty twist!
I bet either the other twin deserved it or he had a reason...or maybe he just killed him. but conaire doesn't seem like the type...
Yay Aisling for standing by her man D
| MarloCarlo10 chapter 11 . 12/22/2009
Ah I love CLiffhangers!
Dude! His brother! Good twist!
Damn someone always has to ruin the moment (
| MarloCarlo10 chapter 10 . 12/22/2009
Aww that was a totally cute ending!
AH that seems so sad that she's only there because of Eclipse and waiting for Eclipse to hate her
| midnight84118 chapter 12 . 12/22/2009
| charliej chapter 12 . 12/22/2009
Hey, glad you decided to continue writing this story. Found it a long time ago but since it hadn't been updated in ages, I forgot about it. Hope you finish it someday!