Reviews for Dreaming of Demons
Alice The Walker chapter 20 . 4/10/2009
Sorry! I didn't pay much attention before. I payed closer attention this time around. I put anything I found at the end of the review. once again, i'm sorry. I've been out of it lately. I almost fell asleep when my hair was getting trimmed yesterday...

so, yeah, moving on. I'd have to say my favorite part of this chapter was the whole awkward moment when Jay asked why they didn't fly all the way to the house. Priceless. Truly priceless. Thanks so much for the fast update though Made my evening. I was getting bored.

so for the horrible news. most are just really tiny grammatical junk, but I have them all in the order they were written.

(My face felt really hot right now), this happened about mid-chapter. felt makes the sentence past tense, but then you have right now which is present tense. it just made it slightly confusing to read. I'm pretty sure it would sound better if the tenses matched up.

(and it fucking awkward)happened right after. It would make more sense to put it's in place of it. that way you have a helpng verb for fucking.

"where you going to drop me?" in context it should be "were you going to drop me" instead of where.

(Ohp, nope,) I wasn't sure whether that was intentional for voice purposes or not.

(Another few seconds, and were at a long gravel road)it should really be we were at or we arrived at. something to that effect instead of just were at with no subject.

(weird call a guy a bitch) personally it sounds better to me if you have weird to call instead of weird call
Alice The Walker chapter 19 . 4/10/2009
er, i think i just sent all my writing in an unfinished review. i hope not. i hit something funny though. but my computer keyboard is still messed up so whatever.

i've never actually heard of jizz in my pants. now it's stuck in my head. can't believe seth did that though...GO SETH! finally a bout of intelligience from him. well, no questons this time actually can't wait for the next chapter and good luck writing it!
Lerene chapter 19 . 4/10/2009
"back to main thought. . . don't think I had one." LOL
killrockstars chapter 19 . 4/10/2009
I gotta say this is definitely one of the funniest stories I have ever read! Oh and I saw that person on youtube screamin and cryin about how everyone is so mean to Britney Spears... I'm pretty sure it was a guy. That shit was disturbing. Anyways back to my point... Love your stories and thanks for having such quick updates!
Suerina chapter 18 . 4/8/2009
Mhmm I really like this story so far.

The flying bit, oh can't wait for that and all the erratic thoughts :]

Keep going. .
Lerene chapter 18 . 4/6/2009
"Tiredness makes the craziness come out" Don't I know it _

great chapter.

Can't wait to read the next chapter with them flying. Wonder what thoughts will be in Jay's head at the time.
Forest Sentry Koneji chapter 18 . 4/5/2009
Ahahaha, oh that was great! Why didn't I find this story sooner? Anywho, I can't wait to read the next chapter!
tempre's Twilight chapter 18 . 4/5/2009
haha! That was rich, lol. absolutely hilarious. I swear... I think Seth was dropped as a kid... or something. He's too cute and bubbly and energetic, ya know? Anywho. thank you for that. Hope to read more :)
Alice The Walker chapter 18 . 4/5/2009
loved the end *fangirl squeal* I hope they can control their hormones long enough to avoid killing each other by making seth too distracted.

is blue going to appear soon? she's neat, and it'd be funny if the gay brother of her best friend came so that seth would be jealous/possessive. i don't think jay is the type to notice those things real quick. it'd be a new way to torture seth! well, not my place to decide anything.

good luck with the next chapter hope the craziness continues.
Alice The Walker chapter 17 . 4/5/2009
i'm so sorry I didn't review sooner. I can't write alot but to be short and sweet a virus got on one computer and completely wiped it out. it's in the process of getting fixed and the computer i'm on now had juice spilled on the keyboard courtesy of my sis. it's really hard to type stuff. and up until this morning was completely trashed.

not much to say this time around. the band-aids thing is a little odd, but that's jay for you gotta love the kid, really. and i'm starting to really like Blue too. thank god for yaoi girls that can teach jay. almost makes me wonder how seth learned this stuff... well, whatever, gotta go i still have to read the next chapter so I can update it.
Tempre's Twilight chapter 17 . 4/4/2009
lol. Can't wait to see what happens next :) I mean... wow. they both seem to be losing control in their own ways, so I'm like... in anticipated suspense on who it will be that breaks first. I'm SO rooting for... um... what's the main Character's name again? ... Anyway. I hope he cracks first, then Sethy-kins can have his naughty way with him... lol. Sethy-kins... *snicker* I wonder what his face would be like if ... aha! It's Jay! (sorry)... But seriously, I wonder what his reaction would be to Jay saying that? Could you tell me? That would make my day.

Well, Until Next time ;)

~Tempre's ~ Twilight~
Tempre's Twilight chapter 16 . 3/29/2009
yumm... that was amazing. Thanks for writing :)
Lerene chapter 16 . 3/29/2009
"I am a full grown idiot, thank you." LOL

And oh my did put a twist in your story I wasn't expecting.

And oh your fast updates make me feel so slow with mine. Maybe if I stop reading so much I be able to update my stories more often. Nay, I like reading. My readers can suffer the wait.
Lerene chapter 15 . 3/29/2009
I liked the part when Jay was running "into" the trees, but not really into them. Then THWACK. "Never Mind." Hee hee, funny. Funny chapter._
Alice The Walker chapter 16 . 3/28/2009
*blush* I just want to help you where I can. so I figured I'd point them out where I see them.

Okay, getting the painful part outta the way, when Seth first starts kissing Jay, there's this one thought where it goes "...a matter of time before his tongue was I my mouth...", where it should be "in my mouth".

Then when Seth proposes his new deal(FDR anyone?)I'm not sure if it's a mistake or not, I just thought that this bit sounded odd. "...just let him suck me off and finger might hint..." I thought that maybe "...suck me off and finger me..." or something to that effect would be more appropriate.

The only other thing is the line near the very end "Wonder what kind of reasons that was?" My teacher is always getting on me about subject verb agreement and all that stuff. I think it's supposed to be " ...kind of reasons those were?" or similar. I could be wrong, I just thought i'd mention it.

Sorry, if that all sounds really forward or anything. Anyways, onto the story They're getting places! though slightly worried about the whole biting greggy thing, i'm too happy that they finally started to really get places. I'm betting on Jay cracking first Good luck with the next chapter, can't wait for the update. till next time, adieu
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