Reviews for Boys, Friends & Sex Buddies
The Weatherwitch chapter 7 . 8/12/2010
hm...

interesting...

i like it!

update soon!
Teeiinneell chapter 7 . 3/22/2010
this story has an awesome plot :)

right now, its anything can happen :)

im DEFINATELY recomending this to my friends XD

update quickly :P

LOVE!

Tee
kimblenator chapter 7 . 12/21/2009
o cliffhanger

I LIKE :D

update soon :)

p.s i also really liked the whole thing with , twas hot.
anita darling chapter 7 . 12/20/2009
:O!

What just happened? I am confused.

It's awesome. I've definitely missed this! Keep up the good work!
AlphaBeatKayGee chapter 6 . 7/13/2009
I like this story! Don't drop it. Update soon
Chelle Mitchiter chapter 6 . 7/12/2009
Hi!I just found this! I'm really liking it! I hope you continue!
anita darling chapter 6 . 7/12/2009
:) Aw, I hope you keep it up. I missed this story.
confetti.hippie chapter 5 . 7/9/2009
And a crazy mother gets thrown into the mix. Interesting. Oh, and I loved the cute part with the Ashlee guy, haha. Can't wait to find out if Cisily and Gareth hook up...getting the foreboding feeling that he's going to hurt her. :( Still! LOVE THE STORY.
confetti.hippie chapter 4 . 7/9/2009
Ha, love the way Jamie interacts with the authority figures. :D I imagine it'd be tough to make a 'homewrecker' lovable- but you've managed it! haha. Great job, fantastic story so far.
confetti.hippie chapter 3 . 7/9/2009
Hmm...the plot thickens. It was kind of inevitable that Mia would completely hate Jamie's guts, but now seeing exactly how much presents a bigger obstacle between Jamie fixing things with Henry. And still completely loving the Cisily/Gareth phenomenom. Genius (almost) pair-up. Way too cute. :)
confetti.hippie chapter 2 . 7/9/2009
Ahh, addicting story much? :D I'm falling in love with your characters- I esp like Cisily and Gareth. The line, "For once in your life, woman, can't you just talk normally?" made me lol, haha. Interesting feud between Jamie and Henry. Can't really pick a side because both have valid reasons for their reactions- at least in my opinion. Can't wait to keep reading.
confetti.hippie chapter 1 . 7/9/2009
Saved this story to my comp so I could read it w/o the distractions of the internet- haha.

I love this beginning! I think you did great at introducing the main characters, not giving away too much, but not saying too little. The narrator sounds like an interesting girl who would be super fun to read about in following chapters- love your writing style. :)
Seize The Stars chapter 1 . 3/28/2009
-OK

It's better to spell it out, as 'okay.' This is internal monologue, and does set an informal tone for the piece, but it's recommended to spell it out.

Interesting first line. The "enjoying it this much" part is versatile and a good hook.

The first section was enough to set the narrator's attention. She seems haughty? No, that isn't it; but obviously knowing something this Henry, and the reader, doesn't. So far you've set three characters: the narrator, Henry, and the ex. The section is ambiguous, but I think I get the gist of where you're going with this, particularly by the last line of that part.

First impressions are that you have realistic dialogue.

General note: Though do aim for more versatile physical descriptions, maybe even surpass it and go into hints at personality or mannerisms unique to them. Like instead of "dark eyes," have something more unique, like maybe a chicken pox scar, or his hair stuck out more around the back, or it was styled and overdone with gel, or his collar was always had the top two buttons unbuttoned; in real life, it's more common to spot the distinctive and unique things about people, not the mundane like hair color, eyes, height (unless any of those were unnatural, like one eye was green and the other brown, or someone had one leg shorter than the other, or the person's hair was three shades of whatever).

-not the ones that I wish I did, either.

That's an interesting line.

-My eyes followed his gaze[,] abruptly stopping

Missing a comma.

-red-head

I don't think there's supposed to be a dash.

-Henry’s nostalgic face dramatically turned serious, he nodded finally turning his body towards mine.

Comma splice. I would turn that comma after serious into a period.

Also, there needs to be a period after he nodded.

-barely no space

Double negative. Should be 'barely any.'

-not-so-discreete

Typo. That should be discrete, unless they spell it differently in NZ?

-we were receiving[,] especially the ones where their jaws looked as if they’d drop to the floor soon.

Missing a comma.

-Inconspicuously glancing to my right, I see the mane of red turning around[,] hearing a frenzied comment about me and her supposed “boyfriend”.

-Henry’s dark eyes were staring straight at me

You already stated he had dark eyes before, so you could take out the 'dark' here.

-he tasted really nice[,] like watermelon starburst though

Missing a comma.

-Henry’s hands drew me closer—if that were anymore possible

Were should be was.

-I’d probably end up in Henry’s baggy denim cladded pants.

His pants are cladded by baggy denim? Taking out the cladded would make more sense.

-I laughed at his choice of words[,] pulling the collar of his shirt down so I could show him just how playful my tongue could get.

Missing a comma.

-A high-pitched irritable squeal pierced the air[,] making me break away from Henry’s

Missing a comma.

-“Oohh! So this is how you settle things?” The literal red head shrieked

Tagline, so 'the' shouldn't be capitalized.

-I went over to the nearest table adorned with still a few—luckily—full bottles of alcohol, I swiped up a Raspberry Smirnoff bottle and saluted it to the air.

Comma splice again. The comma after alcohol would work better as a period.

-It surprises me that some people still do believe her[,] which, really, is quite sad.

I think a comma goes there, or a semi-colon.

The narrator really doesn't seem very likable. Her actions should hopefully have consequences, or she'll be a Sue.

-point more clearer

Just clearer, take out the more.

-he lifted up the bottle[,] finishing the last three and half quarters of it.

Missing a comma.

You could use some variation of syntax/sentence structure. Like the above, you could've ditched the needed comma and used 'and' and have finishing be 'finished.'

Overall, I think you did a good job with dialogue and characterization; as unlikable as she is, I got a decent image of the narrator's character.
RockRollGeekFreak chapter 5 . 3/20/2009
soo sorry i havent had time to be on FP for like ages...only just attempting to catch up..but im still here!

i really like it...you kinda hate jamie...but you feel sorry for her at the same time...its like "god i dunno what I would do in that situation" so you cant completely badly judge her...which is good. cause a story about a total bitch would just be boring...yeah

so yeah im still interested as ever to see what happens next...great work!

xoxRRGF
anita darling chapter 5 . 3/13/2009
Hey. (:

Just thought you might want to know.

I've just read through the first five chapters, plus that other side-story thing.

And it's really cool. I hope you keep up the good work with the interesting plot.

Though, I'm not sure at the moment who I want her to get together with yet. (:

Thanks for writing this.

Love.
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