update today! yehee!

For someone that claims not to do "lust scenes" often, you left me panting like a...well, you get the idea.

The intensity of this chapter is so palpable it left me breathless. You did a great job defining the emotions that ought to go under the circumstances, for all the characters involved.

I find Rune deliciously sweet...like warm chocolate on a winter night...I just want to lap him up!

Like the rewrite keep up the good work!

Love, love, love it! Helena's addiction is flawlessly described, her lunatic attack on Lilith something that would make any one of us question why should anyone care to save her.

I know you said you disliked this chapter, but I really can't find anything wrong with it. It flows well, and the addition of Gilgamesh adds that historic realism that completes the plot.

I like the addition of Lucien into the story telling, and the little changes made about Anu's wanting of Lilith. Seeing her ghost image reaching out and kissing Anu must have been so distressing for a girl who had been so sheltered in the past. I like it!

in this chapter, at the start, you wrote things like, "not much i can do about that, i can't change the rules, besides we haven't even gotten to the fun part of the evening" twice.. so you need to edit it.

:)

Alright, I must say that this is always going to be one of my favorite chapters because its fun to watch Lily when she's drugged. :D

This really is my favorite chapter. Seriously. I can not tell you- I simply can not convey to you- how freaking hot that was! And sweet and tender and exciting and all those nice things. This really is my favorite chapter and I hope you can top this in the future. Can't wait for the next few chapters! We're almost there!

Aww, poor Lily! I feel bad for her. Gah, it must be unimaginably humiliating. *facepalms*

Oh, your Nephilim society rules about women wearing decent clothing and head coverings, we do that in my culture. Well...some of the girls do. XD I can't say I'm a head coverer myself...and the whole submissive-housewife deal would probably piss a lot of us off. We're very informed about our feminine rights. :P

So I can really understand Lily's hesitation at being touched. _

- HT

Hey. Good chapter. Ya know, I was heading for bed, adn checked my email one last time. Now I'm reading. -_- And it's your fault.

Anyways, there is one paragraph accidentally repeated in this chapter. Somewhere near the start, I believe.

I was wondering if I missed the twins' introduction. Oh, I already know where the next chapter is going. Poor Lilith! She'll be scarred.

Keep going. :D

- HT

So I have to admit, this is one of my favorite chapters, not because it's hot (even though it is) but because I love how you describe everything! It's has that flowing aestheticism that conveys the kind out out-of-body, heightened experience Lily is feeling and I think it's kind of perfect.

In chapter 25 the part where Lancelot drops his head in Lilith's lap is repeated twice.

Also, perhaps you could introduce the twins as the other vampires who are standing on the balcony at the club when Lilith first converses with Lucien?

Nothing much was changed from the original, however I'm glad we're almost caught up with where you last left off!