Reviews for The Slave of Heaven Book One
PBArcadia chapter 32 . 2/28/2009
I find Rune deliciously warm chocolate on a winter night...I just want to lap him up!
HelgaBertoni chapter 37 . 2/27/2009
Like the rewrite keep up the good work!
PBArcadia chapter 29 . 2/27/2009
Love, love, love it! Helena's addiction is flawlessly described, her lunatic attack on Lilith something that would make any one of us question why should anyone care to save her.
PBArcadia chapter 28 . 2/27/2009
I know you said you disliked this chapter, but I really can't find anything wrong with it. It flows well, and the addition of Gilgamesh adds that historic realism that completes the plot.
PBArcadia chapter 27 . 2/27/2009
I like the addition of Lucien into the story telling, and the little changes made about Anu's wanting of Lilith. Seeing her ghost image reaching out and kissing Anu must have been so distressing for a girl who had been so sheltered in the past. I like it!
Lily chapter 34 . 2/27/2009
in this chapter, at the start, you wrote things like, "not much i can do about that, i can't change the rules, besides we haven't even gotten to the fun part of the evening" twice.. so you need to edit it.

Annabel Wynters chapter 37 . 2/27/2009
Alright, I must say that this is always going to be one of my favorite chapters because its fun to watch Lily when she's drugged. :D
MZ PEACHESZZ chapter 37 . 2/26/2009
This really is my favorite chapter. Seriously. I can not tell you- I simply can not convey to you- how freaking hot that was! And sweet and tender and exciting and all those nice things. This really is my favorite chapter and I hope you can top this in the future. Can't wait for the next few chapters! We're almost there!
Imagination's Dust chapter 37 . 2/26/2009
Aww, poor Lily! I feel bad for her. Gah, it must be unimaginably humiliating. *facepalms*

Oh, your Nephilim society rules about women wearing decent clothing and head coverings, we do that in my culture. Well...some of the girls do. XD I can't say I'm a head coverer myself...and the whole submissive-housewife deal would probably piss a lot of us off. We're very informed about our feminine rights. :P

So I can really understand Lily's hesitation at being touched. _

- HT
Imagination's Dust chapter 35 . 2/26/2009
Hey. Good chapter. Ya know, I was heading for bed, adn checked my email one last time. Now I'm reading. -_- And it's your fault.

Anyways, there is one paragraph accidentally repeated in this chapter. Somewhere near the start, I believe.

I was wondering if I missed the twins' introduction. Oh, I already know where the next chapter is going. Poor Lilith! She'll be scarred.

Keep going. :D

- HT
Dhalian chapter 37 . 2/26/2009
So I have to admit, this is one of my favorite chapters, not because it's hot (even though it is) but because I love how you describe everything! It's has that flowing aestheticism that conveys the kind out out-of-body, heightened experience Lily is feeling and I think it's kind of perfect.
Dhalian chapter 36 . 2/26/2009
In chapter 25 the part where Lancelot drops his head in Lilith's lap is repeated twice.

Also, perhaps you could introduce the twins as the other vampires who are standing on the balcony at the club when Lilith first converses with Lucien?

Nothing much was changed from the original, however I'm glad we're almost caught up with where you last left off!
MZ PEACHESZZ chapter 35 . 2/26/2009
Please don't forget that you are a very talented author- and this work is just absolutely exhilerating and breathtaking. I think something that really holds my attention and pulls me into the story is the how you're created a whole new world while still maintaining that element of reality. It's just vivid and eye-catching and the characters are fully fleshed out. I just really want more Lucien more, all the time and I keep wanting to find out more about what's going to happen next- with her family, with Lucien, with her situation,etc. It seems like you are subtly building up to something- that evil thing that keeps haunting her in her dreams? Please UPDATE SOON! Love, love this story and it really is great; i know it can get hard for you as an author and to feel discouraged, but some of the most famous authors have faced rejection numerous times so you have to just be willing to keep going. There are definitely things that you need to work on with this story, as with any story, but please remember that this is an absolute gem of a story and that despite little flaws here and there, things that you may have to go over, the story itself, the writing, the dialogue and premise are amazing and pure gold. You are a great author and trust me, I read way too much for my own good, not just on FP. Update soon! I was super happy and exciting by this chapter. Even thought I've read it before...hahaha.
Lily chapter 34 . 2/26/2009
Which chapter is it where Lucien throws Lily over his shoulder, in the old version?

I wanna read that chapter again.. everyone keeps talking about it... and I can't remember it.. lol :(
Annabel Wynters chapter 34 . 2/25/2009
eh, not too much. Geez you're soaring through the story in this version, I think this was only 3 chapters or so from the last chapter you posted. I liked that one part where Lucien threw her over his shoulder, it was funny and just added on to the pile of crap she was going through. :D

Hello! Hope you don't mind me joining in this late in the game, I've been sick for the last 2 months with a cold thats been sort of getting better, I've also been swallowed whole with school and this new semester.

Wow this is really LONG! Can't wait for more!
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