|Reviews for The Slave of Heaven Book One|
| That One Dork Stacey chapter 30 . 2/16/2009
:D Hope you feel better! Because I sure do! You updated :D my weekend was quite pathetic.. I had a very bad day friday and not having anything to read because most of my regulars didn't update, only made things worse.. Thank God for you! :D
You're like my fix :]
Gimme My Supply? lol
Can't wait to get into the more Lucien-heavy parts of the story! :D
| Lily chapter 20 . 2/15/2009
aw.. so you don't like the re-write as much as the original? I think I like it a bit more.. I think it flows more... In the original there were parts that were... dragging on.. if that's the right way to put it? i really want to no what's going on with Alec.. Like when he was like: “Lily…” “You know why I’m doing this? Why I’m not telling Father or why I’m…” and his voice trailed off, leaving the sentence unfinished.
but I LOVE IT! im very jealous of your talent. lol. I want you to no that I like the start.. it's brilliant. Don't be stand-offish.. :( It makes me sad that you might change it.. Although it might be for the better...maybe not though. I'd like to convince you to like the re-write more.. lol. this is a long comment.. lol
| Lily chapter 19 . 2/15/2009
omg... you talked about me! ah I'm soo happy... lol... as always I love it... I haven't finished the re-write yet... I've been a bit busy... OMG i still can't belive u wrote about me... how do you become non-anonymous? i don't have an account... do you have to make one...? omgomgomg.. i'm really happy.. Lol you made my day.. Brilliant work.. I'm obsessed with it.. It is a shame that you had to get rid of some bits... but I still love it.. :) You're an excellent writer who will definitly get published one day... keep up the great work
| kylie chapter 29 . 2/10/2009
Hey I love your story, I started with the original one and I can't get enough! I know you like reviews and critiques so I just thought I'd let you know that sometimes when you're writing about Helena you switch off and say Angela. I know Angela was the character's original name and that you might have just copied and pasted but forgot to change the name. I can't wait for the next chapter.
| MZ PEACHESZZ chapter 29 . 2/9/2009
LOVE IT! Just that little glimpse of fierce, protective Lucien was enough to make me love this chapter. We're getting closer...this story is absolutely amazing and enthralling. Please keep it up and keep updating! I can't wait until I get to some new material and more Lucien! I love it when he gets angry that they're hurting her- it shows, that at least on some level, he really does care for her. UPDATE SOON1
| Anonymous chapter 28 . 2/9/2009
I love the story. It's probably the best one I've read on fictionpress. The historical references add to it infinitely, if you're worried about that.
I think Aislynn is an great character - definitely one of my favorites. I think it's really important for Lily to have a real friend, and she seems to be finding that in Aislynn.
On another note, I had no idea what an Oni is. Some of your references to mythology elude me (for instance, I had no idea what an Erelim was until you expanded on it later in the story, and if I hadn't read the original, I wouldn't have known what a Pooka is). And I noticed you missed changing "Angela" to "Helena" at one point.
But really, this story is amazing. I absolutely loved the original and the rewrite is even better. I can't wait to read more!
| That One Dork Stacey chapter 28 . 2/8/2009
o0o0o0o0o.. Is it just me or was that whole thing with Aislynn not in the original? I'm going to feel really stupid for not remembering that, if it was. : She seems really cool. Oh! and I cannot wait for Lucien! :D He's in love with me, you know. He just doesn't know it yet : I love how you made the characters realistic. I feel like Lilith is a person and not some horribly perfect character in some crappy story. It gives her an "alive" quality that I do so enjoy reading about. It's like I can somehow relate to her and that's always nice. :]
Can't wait for my future husband to come in! :D
| bela13 chapter 28 . 2/8/2009
i like Aislynn but i really really hate Aubree and as long as you have the A/N at the bottem telling us what things are i'm fine with it maby if you ever get this book published in the back of the book you could have a mini dictionary it wouldn't be that odd i've read books like that
| ThexSkyxGray chapter 28 . 2/8/2009
i can tell the next chapter is gunna be good! after i started reading the rewrite i tried reading the original but it confused me to no end when i got things from both mixed up lol personally i like the rewrite better. update soon!
| Dhalian chapter 28 . 2/8/2009
I'd like to know more about Lily's heritage. We know from the original that she is part light elf, and we know she's half spirit wolf. Just how much Nephilim is she?
| MZ PEACHESZZ chapter 28 . 2/8/2009
Lucien is my favorite too. Update soon!
ugh, and can I say how much I hate aubree, caden and the rest of them?
| That One Dork Stacey chapter 27 . 2/8/2009
Yay! I'm so cool, I got your message. :D 'Too kewl fer school' :] But.. since I'm a new user, it won't let me reply yet.. because I'm a newb : So I'll be messaging you in my reviews until then.
and hopefully, you'll update by then! :D I want to see the new chapter. And, I don't think any of your chapters have sucked. The only thing I'd ever change about them, is making them ridiculously longer but I have a feeling that other people might complain.. but uh.. that's just me : You should really publish your writings [ I'm such a hypocrite, seeing as to how I won't even post my own writing ( but that's only because yours are so good X_X )]
Annd.. I'm such a newb to actually having an account on fiction press. I have no idea what I'm doing at the moment :
like.. how do you check your messages, or is it only in emails? X_x See, this is what I get for letting you convert me onto the dark side :P
| ValerieYoung chapter 27 . 2/8/2009
awesome chapters i reli like it. poor lily she is having a reli hard time sayin she is no warrior.
| That One Dork Stacey chapter 27 . 2/7/2009
I guess I'll have to make an account on here :P though I don't trust my writing abilities enough to post anything I've written on here :
But for you, I'll make an account :D
| That One Dork Stacey chapter 26 . 2/7/2009
I think that the spirit creatures came off as easier to visualize this time, so I think you did a good job with that. And the ginormous eyes [O.O] ..kinda reminds me of those annoying brat dolls with their HUGE eyes LOL .. then to picture their sharp teeth too kind of disturbing, but then again wasn't that the point? I think I'm going to like this rewrite version almost as much as I love the original [nothing beats the original, but this is pretty high up there] :D
Goodluck on the updating thing. Hopefully school won't beat u down too much because I'm right there with you. School is starting suck... It was never this stressful for me and BAM! Out of the blue I just wanna quit, though I don't have the strength to do that [and for that, I blame my aunt] So I hope it helps to know that I understand where you're at, at the moment and that reading has become one of the most effective methods of getting through school so keep up the good chapters! :]