Hey i just wanted to ask if you are going to post the second book on fictionpress as well?

The story is great by the way:)

OMG! yay i can't wait till the second book! Would you able to message me when you post it? Pretty please with a cherry on top ! . THANX

AWESOME! wow! I love this woo! I can't wait till book 2 .

I really hope you can publish your work because you are a fantastic writer :P

Yay bring on the fight! Moonspear an ass! oh and i love this story!

I love this story! man, this chapter is insane and really annoying! Fae people are really confusing and they speak in circles! GAH! but i love it :P

This story is awesome! Can't wait for more :D

Haha, I see why everyone loves the sneak peak of the third date :) Using music to bring them together, to help Lily understand Luce (and visa versa) is total win.

This was it! You mention in your note you might add a reference to the blood hounds, of Luce waving off the concept and calling it "mythology" but I don't think that would be a good idea. He believes what he's preaching and I dunno, I just think adding that would take away from their dialogue. I'd leave it as it is.

Me again (I'm going backwards)

I definitely agree that she had to fight w/out being saved by anyone. That would've pissed me off, actually, cuz it's about damned time she fight :)

And I still can't remember the other thing I thought so I'll keep going backwards...

It's me :)

I agree that Luce shouldn't be "in love" with her yet, and you get that point across here.

I can't wait to help you edit, lol. You have a quite a bit of repetition with certain words and phrases, which readers might have pointed out already. I'm trying to hold off on the mechanicse til you let me help you with the next re-write, since you could very well be fixing a lot of that already.

There was something I was considering in a previous chapter but I totally forgot so I'll comment on it later, lol.

I'm loving this story. Though, I do have to point out that when Lily found Helen in the Night City, the names are mixed up a bit. (Helen-Angela ?)

also, sorry this is in respose to your authors note but I really do like the idea of bloodhounds, I don't think thats too much, and also, I think that leaving in the "obscure" references was just fine, even though I didn't know the Greek one, the other was obvious since you had told the myth earlier in the story, also when you do find an agent, I'm almost positive you have to take the story down but leave up the first chapter in order to prove you wrote it first in case someone else tries to claim the story/idea as theirs, also, I'm sure you'll get published, this is batter than a lot of books I've read and I read a ton

Wow, I really loved this story and I really think you should one day have it published, I know I'd love to buy it if you ever did

loved this. truly really loved this! bravo!

I stumbled upon your story and I must say that it was completely amazing. I read it all in (mostly) one sitting today and it enthralled me! It's refreshing to find such a well-written plot. Particularly one that pays so much attention to the idea of class, background, history, anthropology, etc. I noticed you said that you were going to try to get this published. I think that you definitely have a shot. I did notice some mistakes here and there, but nothing that another rewrite or two can't fix. I was slightly confused by the wording in your author's note, though. Do you plan on posting the second book to the story or are you going wait until it's published. If you plan to wait, that's perfectly understandable, but I would love to know what happens next. )

Cassandra