Reviews for The Slave of Heaven Book One
Maelne chapter 49 . 6/13/2009
I personally think this has to of been my favorite chapter O.O No joke. I love it! I really hope you get a publisher! :) I .WAIT for your next book! The complexity you conveyed between "Luce" (cute nickname, Lilith is finally opening up to him! :D) and Lilith is amazing! Keep it up! :)
TymCon chapter 48 . 6/13/2009
If you want my opinion i would not just make a blood hound a lulu. It adds a certain quality and diffrence if theres lilu who can do it cleanly and ones that just tear through a human body. It will give you more depth n the evil charachters if you keep it in. Btw the agent would get peeved. They would probably fear plagerism. Good luck!
TymCon chapter 47 . 6/13/2009
This story is seriously awesome! You have got to tell me if or when this comes out as book and not rough draft:P
TymCon chapter 45 . 6/13/2009
I likied this chapter. Although i must admit when i was reading the lucien and lilith dying scene i did think it was a bit sad becuase she not the wolf was dying. Yuou know?
TymCon chapter 42 . 6/13/2009
No aislynn! I got my answer to the blood hound:P
TymCon chapter 41 . 6/12/2009
Im starting to wonder if alecs not just being protective. As a matter of interest can blood hounds take human forms like the spirits or do they appear like in the dream? I would read on but is it mentioned?
link chapter 49 . 6/12/2009
OMG. When are you going to write the second book. I mean forget about the third rewrite of the fist book and write the second book NOW.
charm en route chapter 1 . 6/12/2009
Oh, sorry, I worded that wrong. I didn't mean created races, but the way all of the races came together through other mythology and such... yeah.


Whatever, I'm sure you get my meaning.
charm en route chapter 49 . 6/12/2009
Goodness! This is a wonderful story, and if anyone can get published I'm sure you can. Your writing is nice and eloquent. :D

Most vampire stories are the same, same plot, same creatures, and so on. Yours is pretty imaginative, and I like your created races. :D

However, and I know you know this, there are a ton of errors throughout the story. Which I guess you'll fix in the next version, eh?

Also, I'm looking forward to book two or the rewrite of this book. :D

(I loved this sneak peak, it was adorable. [: )
TymCon chapter 35 . 6/12/2009
You could lighlty introduce them at the concert whit luvcien? Anyway good chapter as usual!:P
Bespelled chapter 49 . 6/12/2009
If you do get published, (and here's my best wishes that you do), I will totally support you and buy the books. But please, till then, could you provide us with more sneak peaks of Lillith and Lucien goodness? :)

I'm a romantic, but there's something about Lillith and Lucien that grabs me like no other and refuses to let go. I think its because their relationship isn't stereotypical. It develops (not a product of youth's need to vent out their raging hormones) plus the two characters have their own lives past each other.

Also, it's rare to find such a unique, compelling world in the fictionpress realm. I love how intricate the cultures of the Nephilim are. Your world is easy to get lost into. :)

And your Lillith is such an easy character to sympathize with. She isn't your typical feisty heroine, as in most romances. She struggles with her strength, which makes her very realistic. I also love her dynamics with her family. Some authors don't put the family in too much, not realizing how vital they are to the growth of the character.

Also, I think Alec is totally yummy.

Though, just some advice for your rewrite, I think it would be better if you toned down the Anu and Spirits bit. Your writings are very descriptive, but maybe a more subtle prose would work better in those parts since it's difficult to describe such large, otherworldly personages. Instead of giving your readers a solid picture, guide them to their own interpretations.

Best wishes on your future endeavors!
TymCon chapter 29 . 6/12/2009
Are you gonna bring this out as book? If you are im booking a copy hopefully:P
S.B.Marianna chapter 49 . 6/12/2009
I love how you described this!
MZ PEACHESZZ chapter 47 . 6/11/2009
ahh, I just re-re-read this for the 5th time I think. Amazing. And it was good to read it in one clean break. I have to say, the chapters with Luce and Lil are the best. I found myself skimming the other chapters- but the story is amazing. I continue to marvel at its imagination and sheer sense of creativity and fantasy. It really is a new world come alive with culture, creatures, and dreams abound. This story is absolutely brimming with ingenuity and I can't wait for part 2! UPDATE SOON!
kitkat74 chapter 48 . 6/11/2009
I love this story and i know that though it gets better each time you write it, i hope you don't get so caught up in rewriting it that you forget to update. basically, i hope you keep on updating and the amazing writing.
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