|Reviews for International Lies|
| mintbanana chapter 4 . 7/2/2009
Yay! You finally updated. Well, the story's still good, although the spacing's a little jumpy and some of the sentence structure is a tiny bit clunky in places. A good beta reader could fix that no problem. Keep it up!
| SpikeyGirl chapter 3 . 2/25/2009
A good chapter, the spacings a bit weird and the chapter could do with being longer. You still could expand the charaters but I supose it would be easier now they've escaped. The escape could have had more detail. How come the other inmates didnt find it?
The main point of this is you need to add detail. The speech adds some detail but add some that shows characterization.
I still like the idea, the potential is great but you do need to add the detail.
| SpikeyGirl chapter 2 . 2/12/2009
Interesting idea, you might like to expand on the characters a bit, you may have mentioned the basics but it needs more, it allows the reader to feel like they know the character.
Also you might want to expand on the surounding and feeling of people, so far you have the story but only the basic story with some expansion but not much. The idea has a lot of promise though.