Reviews for Smiling Opens The Doors For Breath
Isca chapter 2 . 2/5/2009
"These eyes that weep." The sorrow here is almost sacred; it's beautiful!

"Those who know that inside I have died." Oh wow! The utter pain and hopelessness here is powerful and well-written!

"Hide the tears that fall inside." A wonderful depiction of hidden inner-pain.

It flowed and rhymed well. I think I like this edited version the most, but the first one is still nice too!

-Isca
chartonjeremiah chapter 1 . 2/1/2009
This is not the usual structure to your poetry but you should do it more often as it works well for you. I agree with what Isca said about your choice of words but for me the penultimate stanza is the favourite.

You do a lot of good writing so it's always good to see output from you.
Isca chapter 1 . 1/31/2009
"My mind is rendered calm." Lovely!

"Just to circumvent." Nice word-choice!

The final stanza is my favourite. The message and imagery is great. The poem rhymes well and the structure's good. :)