|Reviews for That's illegal, Right?|
| Forever Grateful chapter 4 . 11/25/2011
I like the multiple POV switches. Adds depth to the story, being able to see things through each character's eyes.
Cass' insecurity and guilt is bitterly evident here. And Jake worries so much for her, that he literally panics when he doesn't see her the moment he opens the door. So neither brother nor sister is completely stable, and this speaks volumes in itself.
When they unite and Jake watches Cass sleeping, there's a connection between them. His presence turns her nightmare away. She murmurs his name and he quietly leaves, meaning that he's there for her, watching, but not interfering, and she draws strength from him despite the distance.
And that's the last chapter? Aw. I guess I'll have to wait for an update, then.
| Forever Grateful chapter 3 . 11/25/2011
And hope grows brighter. Our protagonist, abandoned by her father, is taken in by her older brothers and offered a chance. The question is whether or not she'll ultimately accept it. She seems very broken to me.
Jake is a nice character, a hero of sorts. He's everything a girl could want in a big brother. And it's evident that he and Cass are close. Their relationship and interactions add just a touch of warmth to an otherwise chilling tale. Also, Ethan, while more of a scoundrel than Jake no doubt, seems rather cute. I like them both.
You've got a nice cast of characters going so far, as well as a compelling plot. I shall pay close attention to this one.
| Forever Grateful chapter 2 . 11/25/2011
And here we see the protagonist in action. Only the basic element of her plight is made visible to the reader, and considering this has to do with her father, it becomes somewhat disturbing. And that's what makes this story so very difficult to put down once it's been started. It's wrong, somehow. Although you do claim it will get fluffier later on, so we shall see...
Also, everything flows, and your discriptions are fabulous. It's such a pleasurable thing, you know. Coming across something so delicately worded that still packs a punch. I'm enjoying it.
| Forever Grateful chapter 1 . 11/25/2011
What an introduction indeed; dark, gritty, intriguing. So overwhelmingly negative, depressing, and then suddenly, a glimmer of hope. I could call it poetic, in a sense. It pulls at those heartstrings, is what I mean. And so well written! The text is kept simple, as if this is a diary of some sort. You get the strong sense of a troubled mind's inner dialogue. I like it.
You've caught my attention, cunning author. Moving on to chap 2 (or 1, since this is the Prologue).
| PandasXD chapter 4 . 10/29/2011
This is such a good story! Keep writing
| Shreya ramachandran chapter 3 . 10/26/2011
So so good. Every single sentence is so compelling and makes me want to know more and more. I read 'isolation' too. And I'm dying to know what happens next! Please write more! :)
| Kiwi Mango chapter 3 . 6/5/2011
I read this and really, really enjoy it. It's really well written, poetic but in a subtle way not in an obnoxious in your face "trying to be deep" type of way. It flows beautifully, I really enjoy your writing style. It's very real and relatable.
I'm really hope you update it soon :)
| l'heure bleue chapter 2 . 9/1/2010
Umm wow. That's some seriously dark stuff. :P
Of course, it's also magnificently written, it was just very surprising. :P
| Imminent Paradox chapter 3 . 6/21/2009
Ooh, I really like this story so far! It's beautifully written, and I kind of like the fact that it's kind of confusing- I'm all for confusing plotlines . I really hope you write more, because I'd love to see where this goes!
| rust phoenix chapter 3 . 6/4/2009
Thank you for the review. It means a lot to me to hear that other people enjoy my writing.
I like this story. A lot. It's so real, I can read it and think, 'I know people just like these characters' and 'I know EXACTLY what you mean there'. Especially the first chapter. It's such a rush to have all these experiences that you can't help but wonder if you're missing something in the hurry to get it all done. This story hooked me right from the first sentence and the rest of it is written just as well. Cassie is a fascinating main character, and I think her life will definitely be interesting to follow.
I didn't find the plot confusing. But then again I am used to confusing plots, since I tend to write them. I'm also a big fan of first person present tense and changing POVs, so there's not really a shock to me when they switch, like I suppose there might be for people not used to reading this type of story.
I liked your formatting overall. The way you broke up the lines. It was poetic but subtle, and I thought it really added to the feel of the story. One thing I didn't understand was the use of capitalization. Sometimes you capitalized 'I' and other times you didn't, and I was unsure about whether this was intentional. I enjoy stories written either way (most of my poems have no capitals whatsoever, and in my fiction I sometimes stop using any capitals or punctuation if it is a highly emotional moment), but I think it helps if it is consistant or if there is a reason for why it changes. If there is a reason and I just missed it could you please explain? I can be clueless about these things sometimes.
Thank you again for the review and kind words. Keep writing!
| FoolofaTook17 chapter 2 . 6/3/2009
i really like this so far, i'm a fan of your writing style. i dunno, there's just something smooth about the way it reads :). i read up to chapter 3, but i'm reviewing chapter 2 because i noticed that in this sentence: "I breathe deeply, and the tang of alcahol burns my nostrils," alcohol is misspelled. but other than that, great job!
| notyourbiz chapter 3 . 6/2/2009
Why'd her dad say he kicked her out if she just ran away? I can see some very incest stuff coming, LOLZ! Ur a really good writer and I do like tis story quite alot! Can you update now because Ireally would like to read some more now!
| AllyTCBK chapter 3 . 5/6/2009
Your writing has a really nice rhythm too it, I can feel the different points of view and personalities in both Jake and Cass.
With Cass I can feel her stop and go emotions and with Jake I can feel the more smooth feeling of love he has.
Keep it up, for sure! I'll be looking forward to more.
| my own rebel angel chapter 3 . 5/6/2009
OMG Girl! this was good, but slightly confusing... Keep it up. i cant wait to see what happens next. good job ( try for less than three months next time :D) JK. AWESOME!
| Tipsy101 chapter 3 . 5/5/2009
I didn't find it confusing, I liked it.
I also liked that you wrote from her brother's point of view.