Reviews for Become
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 3/9/2009
"When the sun hits your eyes, I have never seen"... For some reason the phrasing here sounded awkward.

"but still I think on that song."... think about sounds better I think.

In the last stanza it seems odd to repeat the phrase After all because you hadn't really repeated any other phrases.

Anyway I did like the piece. Your descriptions were really great. I especially love how you took cliched things like not saying what you mean and a broken hear and rephrased them. Nice job.